assalamualaikum.
haven't rant here for a long while. been busy adapting into motherhood.
cut the story short, im gonna end this blog here.
will still be blogging when i have the time and the mood, but certainly will not be here.
this blog is about my life as a teenager, young adult, who has too much rebellion in her heart. but so many sweet memories has been written here so i will keep this blog alive just to retain the memories.
the new blog will be about my motherhood journey, my baby/babies mostly, my work, my study, and how hard it is to juggle between lives. but im still the cheerful me so expect my immaturity.
when the blog is ready i'll post the url here.
again, thanks for reading my rant all these years.
assalamualaikum.
makanan.
hari ni nak post banyak gmbr makanan.
yang ni masak untuk sorang. popia ayam+carrot + kobis. masak inti skeeetttt je cukup2 untuk wrap 3 popia.
yang ni makaroni goreng. teringin. masakla walaupun makan sorg. sedap la jugak, smpi nak makan masa sahur. so masa sahur panaskan, makan sepinggan. sorang2 jugak. sudahnye pas subuh muntah2 teruk. hari tu pulak 7 masa. smpi pukul 11.30, sakit kepala berdenyut2 sebab haus sgt2. maka terkorbanlah puasa ku hari itu.. khamis minggu lepas rasanya. punahla cita2 nak puasa penuh tahun ni =( tapi kesian baby. kalo kite penat2 takut die pulak problem. huhu.
yang ni nasi lemak. masak hari sabtu lepas, untuk suami makan. im currently mcm sgt suka nasi lemak ni, tatau nape ntah, jadi hari2 buka nasi lemak pun takpe. tapi simple je la. ade ikan bilis dgn kacang tapi tak letak sbb i tak suke. hehe. eh, ade ke org makan nasi lemak dgn salad? huhu. bedal je la labu.
yang ni berbuka pertama tanpa suami di sisi *sobs* mcm malas masak kan. tapi bila tengok balik mcm meriah pulak. huhu. nasi goreng udang.
yang ni mak encik ni teringin tahap cipan makan nasi lemak, jadi sanggup masak walaupun makan sorg. huhu. dgn sambal sotong. puas hati. lagi pun takut nak makan makanan bazar...... =( terpaksa la masak. sedapnya nasi lemak lembik2... mcm nak makan lagi hari ni.
mlm tadi tak boleh tido, sbb perut memulas2. sudahnya pg skolah dgn langsung takde mood hari ni... nasib baik cuma 3 masa. habis je skolah kite nak balik tido. ingatkan nak masak bubur je.. tapi tengok nasi lemak ni mcm rasa nak buat nasi lemak la pulak. timun: check. sotong: check. cili kering: check. santan paket: check. ok lah tu. kite suka guna santan paket sbb bau die lagi sedap. santan kotak mcm takde bau sgt. santan perah, err rumah kite takde pun penapis santan tu. huhu.
see you again la when i see you. babai.
diari puasa: day 5 and day 6.
assalamualaikum.
puasa day 5.
masih teringin nak karipap sardin sebab 2 hari lepas cari karipap sardin tak puas hati. sebab intinya kentang campur sardin. kita nak sardin yang byk2 bawang tu. =(. pun pg bazar maka jumpa. sbb hari ni hari rabu kan jadi pegi pasar lah. beli sotong. ayam. sayur. hari ni nak makan kari ayam dgn sambal sotong. sayur husband's special, sawi cina with oyster sauce.
smpi rumah lepak dulu.pukul 6.15 baru start masak. husband bersihkan ayam, sotong. kita kupas bawang. pastu masak2 smpi pukul 7.10. bukak kat sini pukul 7.19. dan memang style kami, buka puasa dgn kuih dulu, solat pastu baru mkn berat. sebabnya tak nak solat lambat, sebab kita makan memang lambat. tak bleh kejar2, paksa makan laju2 sebab nanti cepat je nk muntah. jadi kami buka puasa dgn ini dulu.
karipap sardin, kurma, plain hot water for me (since i cannot drink tea at all) dan teh o untuk suami. pastu kami solat. pas solat baru makan nasi.
subhanallah. bila tengok sendiri rasa lapar. =( kami jarang buka puasa dgn 2 protein. slalunya maksimum 2 lauk je. tapi hari ni kita menggatal nak makan kari (im a sucker fo curry la these days, hari2 rasa mcm nak makan kari je), husband request sambal sotong. alhamdulillah. cukup 5 hari berpuasa. =)
puasa day 6.
7 masa hari ni. balik umah dah melepek, tak larat pun nak masak. husband pun penat mengemas agaknya ( ke takde motivasi nak masak now wife dah lembik semacam huhu), ajak pegi beli je makanan kat bazar. sejak mengandung, kita dan makanan bazar ataupun pasar malam memang tak sehaluan. kalau makan confirm muntah. mentaliti kot? kalo makan luar pun mcm tu. fast food ke, restoren thai ke, sume tak bleh stay lama dlm perut. nak makan makanan masak kat rumah jugak baru elok tak muntah. huhu. tapi since betul2 tak larat, gagahkan jugak la beli mknn kat bazar.
kita beli nasi ambeng (ambeng ye bukan ambang, marah orang johor nanti ^^) dan husband beli nasi lemak kukus ayam rempah. dengan kuih akok. kuih akok dia mcm oily sket, jadi kita makan satu je. dah solat, makan nasi. mula2 mcm berselera, tapi rupanya cuma 1/3 je nasi dlm polisterin tu luak. husband jgn cakap la, licin berkilau pinggan dia. hehe. rasa mcm ok ni, takde pun nak muntah. tapi sendawa memang mcm org tua tak boleh berhenti.
masuk solat isyak, rakaat ke-3, kita termuntah. berhenti solat dan muntah semuntah2nya, sampai lembik. dah tak terawih mlm tadi =( mlm minum susu, muntah lagi. tapi tidur sungguh2 lena, langsung tak bangung kencing. sedar2 dah pukul 4.30. bangun masak megi, husband nak sahur megi. kita makan roti wholemeal sekeping, sosej 2 batang, nugget ayam seketul, air horlicks 1 mug. belum pun masuk waktu subuh, kita dah muntahkan sosej2 dan nugget tu =( tapi alhamdulillah, puasa 6 hari dah cukup. =)
puasa day 7.
sekarang ni kat sekolah adalah super lembik. mengajar pun bagi budak latihan, pastu kita duduk. serius tak larat nak berdiri dan bercakap. ni kejap lagi ada meeting panitia matematik pukul 12.30. meeting panitia maths memang slalu hari jumaat pukul 12.30, sbb semua cikgu maths skolah ni adalah perempuan. hehe. sains pun sama. harap2 bleh bertahan sampai berbuka. sayangnya nak tuang puasa... bukan selalu ada peluang puasa penuh. tapi kita dah turun 2kg sejak puasa hari tu.. jadi selasa ni ade checkup, husband suruh tanya nurse, is it ok for me to fast, will it harm the baby kalo berat turun byk sgt in a short time.. kalo boleh, teruskan, kalo tak boleh, hmm.. puasa celam celop la jawabnya... takkan nak tinggal smpi sebulan.. =(
hari ni insya Allah berbuka dgn homecooked meal. penat2 pun kena masak.
assalamualaikum. =)
a looooooonggg update.
assalamualaikum.
heya everyone.
i havent been blogging for a looooooong while. last entry was on february 26. today is july 25, so its almost 5 months i havent write anything in this so-called blog. layak ke panggil blog kalo jarak between entries is 5 months apart? T_T
well, in 5 months, of course a lot had happened. have to make a list to be thorough. kehkeh.
1. i finished my third semester.
well, this was most probably my hardest semester so far. ive so much to do at school, so ive to drop my projek master and extend one more semester. havent got time to write or read, even to finish assignments for two subjects, i had to struggle to find time. so my master will finish some time around may 2013 hopefully... i dont want to extend semester anymore. =( dan adalah sangat tak berharap untuk score sem ni, sebab my finals suck (for both papers) and my carry marks was so low. hopefully i can manage to pass, i dont want to repeat anything. =(
2. husband finished his study.
which means, he's going to leave me for work next monday. huaaaaa sad sad sad ='( gonna be alone and lonely. buka sorg. sahur sorg. selama setahun setengah kawen ni, the longest that ive been away from him was during my induksi. itupun saya di jb, dia di pasir gudang. 2 malam. tak biasa tidur sorang2... =( dah la penakutnya subhanallah.. selama ni ada kawan tidur. everytime i woke up in the middle of the night after a nightmare, i know that he'll be beside me jadi takde la takut sangat. sekarang ni, i guess i have to go back to the days where i slept with the lights on. =( but he'll be back on weekends. jumaat petang smpi isnin pagi. or i'll go to melaka. whichever la ikut sape free. but the draw back of leaving in a separate state, besides having to be apart from each other la, is that duit memang jalan mcm air... bayangkan lah sewa rumah 2 biji, rumah sini rm400, rumah kat sane rm500. situ je dh rm900. minyak kereta ulang alik untuk husband, mau jugak jejak dlm 200 sebulan. saya pegi sana naik bus je kot. tu pon smpi bulan 11 je. pastu tak larat dah. nape? nanti last skali i tell u ok. ^^
3. i sold off my myvi. and all the memories with it. which i not regret.
so now i officially have no car to my name. husband bought me a viva, which costs around rm550 per month for 7 years loan tenure. dulu myvi tu buat 5 tahun, jadi sebulan rm8++. agak berat kan, with our financial yg haywire skrg ni. tapi tu takde masalah kot sbb all are in budget. alhamdulillah dgn gaji yang dah naik, kenaikan tahunan yang dah naik jugak, mampu lagi sebenarnya nak bayar myvi tu. tapi bila kami dah bincang, rasenye this is th best way kot. to clear off my hutang. sebab?
4. i bought a house.
or in a process of buying one la sebenarnya. dekat area kerubung. since we are planning to settle down in melaka (dont really have a choice sebenarnya, sebab husband ade contract dgn utem for God knows how long) so we decided to buy a house here. rumah semi D cluster one storey, corner lot. 48x73, saiz rumah 26x73 jadi we have some extra tanah which is roughly about 22 kaki lebar. besar kan? and the price? rm250000. can u believe that? kalo kat kl dgn harga ni cuma mampu dpt apartment kot? jadi kami sangat thankful and grateful sbb nak duduk kat melaka, where the real estate are still within our budget range. =)) sebulan dlm rm1300, so we have to clear off my debt so that boleh guna my government loan untuk buat housing loan.
5. last but not least,
tada!
this picture was taken around may kot? mase ni almost 6 weeks. skrg alhamdulillah, dah 19 weeks, almost 5 months. doktor bagi EDD end of december around christmas, so saya tak payah naik awal ke skolah (yeayersss!!) or hopefully, dah dpt pindah melaka la time tu. aminnn. i will write about my pregnancy later when i got time (bila tah). but until then, yeah, im almost 5 months pregnant. and i'll be alone in half of my pregnancy sbb my husband jauh kannnnnn.. semoga kita dua2 bertabah ye baby. ^^ dan alhamdulillah, dah 4 hari puasa. belum tuang lagi. semoga diberi kekuatan dan kesempatan untuk puasa penuh tahun ni... =)
till then.
assalamualaikum.
semester 3.
assalamualaikum.
starting from this week, bermulalah semester 3. sem ni amek 2 subjek dan research study. subjek curriculum dgn dr seth, who also taught me kelas learning models semester lepas. kelas lagi satu, subjek computer, basically develop courseware la, mcm mase final year project undergraduate dulu. dgn dr. fatin, who is also my supervisor.
mule2 kelas computer dh kene sound dgn dr fatin, kenapa dftr research study tak bincang dgn die dulu. wuuuuuu. mane la tau... sbbnye kite tak dpt emel die feb 17 tu. jadi memang tertinggal. tatau knp tak dpt, tengok kat mailing list ade je my email???? tah la. yg penting ada la kakak tu my coursemate, die tlg forwardkan that email to me. and kite dh reply pon ke dr. fatin. pastu dr. fatin tanye tajuk tesis. wuuuuuuu lagi sbb baru je terfikir2 nak buat misconception, tapi tak bace byk lagi pun jd tak bleh present case argument yg solid pd dr. dr kate org lain dh start keje mase cuti sem ritu, and she's a little bit worried sbb im a married, part time student. insya Allah dr, i'll try my best, comes hell or high water. errr maybe not hell. but u get the idea.
risau jugak sbnrnye sem ni, sbb ade subjek computer dgn research study. dulu mase undergraduate amek mase 2 sem nak complete courseware siap dgn thesis, sem ni kene completekan courseware in 14 weeks pastu kene antar report on the 16th. *pengsan* nasib baik group work, jadi takde la rase berat sgt. memang terpaksa bertungkus lumus bekerja keras la sem ni........................................ nasib baik rase tahun ni mcm kurg sket kerja, maybe sbb pentadbir tau kite sambung belajar kot. kite cume dpt guru tingkatan dgn s/u peperiksaan dalaman. ok la berbanding tahun lepas. yang website tu kite nak buat tatau jek smpi la en. hairuden marah kite. boleh? hehe. kalo tak................. terpaksa la lupekan sekejap hasrat nak pregnant tahun ni. wuuuuu tamo2. tamo tinggal sini sorg2 after hubby balik melaka.
semoga semuanya berjalan lancar semester ni. semoja berjaya graduate semester depan. semoga usaha memperolehi baby diberkati, dirahmati dan berjaya. hehe. insya Allah. amin.
nak log off. tutup laptop, solat zohor *baru je dgr azan.sedapp suara budak form 1 ni azan zohor.terharu rasa*. pastu nak amek hubby kat mutiara motors, die pg service vios. pastu nak pg starbucks, nak minum mocha frapp! tata!
random.
assalamualaikum.
semalam kene pergi english literature component course, dekat smk pasir putih. sbb form 3 ada novel baru, around the world in 80 days by jules verne. baru berangan nak bagi students tengok movie tu (yg ade jackie chan tu) rupe2nye movie tu langsung tak same dgn novel, kecuali nama watak. huhu. jadi kena la plan bende lain pulak.
best ke jadi cikgu english? memang best. sbb english is not something that u have t study betol2, mcm maths dgn fizik ke kimia ke kan. u just flip through the notes and tada, ure fully ready to teach. tapi as a science person, its actually a torture. nak bace essay humangaih............ stress!
tapi nak buat mcm mane. tugas. kena la telan jek. nasib baik soh ajar english, kalo soh ajar geografi, im dead!
semoga yuhaniz terus tabah dalam tugasan seharian. aminn.
p/s: esok result sem 2 keluar. berdebar.
dinner semalam.
assalamualaikum.
semalam kan rasa nak sgt makan chicken chop. jadi merayu la kat hubby, ajak makan dkt angah d&c kat bandar baru uda, kat sane ade chicken chop sedap cume rm5.
sampai2 je, tutup! frust gila kot. nak nangis rase. hubby yang tau isteri ni dah sebak tak dpt mkn chicken chop pun bwk la kita pg hutan bandar, kat sane pon ade chicken chop rm5. pusing2 punye pusing, tak jumpe!
frust skali lagi. =(
last2 hubby ajak pg jusco taman u. kat sane ade chicken chop sedap jugak, tapi bukan rm5 la. mahal sket. dlm rm11 kot. tapi portion die besar, coleslaw sedap, puas hati la makan. kat food court die. hati dah berbunga,
tapi kannnn sebab dah pukul 9.30, maka coleslaw dah habes.
sedih lagi. =(
tapi dpt la jugak mkn chicken chop takde coleslaw dgn kentang goreng yg dah liat.
punye la beria nak mkn chicken chop smpi ke skudai, last2 makan separuh je. separuh lagi biasalah, masuk dlm perut hubby.
bayangkan kalo pregnant pastu teringin, mcm mane?
wuwuwuwu. jangan mengidam bukan2 ye yuhaniz. jangan menyusahkan hubby. u know he will do anything to give you what u need, what u want kan.
minggu depan nak jugak pg angah d&c makan chicken chop rm5.
new beginning.
assalamualaikum.
notice my new title? it's no longer my personal journal. i also changed my address. i unlisted my blog from google search. basically, im hiding my blog. and myself.
no, im not running away. i just want a fresh start. i want to forget everything that has been hurting me all these years. but i love this blog so much and i dont want to delete it. so i figured that, why dont i just continue with this blog but change my address and title? i think people can no longer find me here. that'll make me free to write whatever i feel, whatever i want to write.
starting from tomorrow, i want to blog everyday. or at the very least, 4 entries per week. i need to channel my frustrations towards everything and this is the only means i have. but it has become so public, i just have to change everything.
so here's for the fresh start. new year (even though its already february T__T). new me.
first entry of 2012.
well, that should sum up how busy i am. awal tahun cikgu cikgi memang super busy.
*ah kau tak busy pon memang malas update blog kan.
sekian.
off bleeding and stressed.
my bleeding is getting worse. it has been 11 months since i got married and my period is still not regular.
and it makes me even more stressed out. oh wait, stressed makes me bleeds more. damn.
its heavy. its making me sick. its making me stressed.
what is wrong with me???
Ya Allah! Tuhan manusia, yang menghilangkan kesusahan, sembuhkanlah, Engkaulah yang menyembuhkan. Tidak ada yang menyembuhkan selain Engkau, penyembuhan yang tiada meninggalkan sebarang penyakit.
Amin.
scared.
if u think a problem is a problem then it'll become a problem. if u think a problem is a challenge, ure gonna figure out some ways to overcome it.
that's what my lecturer said the other day and it got me thinking.
with all the problems that are coming continuously towards me one after another, all i want to do is just to curl up in my bed, cry it all out and let the tears wash them away. but when i think back, all these problems are caused by me. my improper planning. my ignorance. if only i plan, i think, i care, these things will not turn out to be like this.
but its all i can do. its all we can do. saying if-onlys. because that's what we do when we want to comfort ourselves. when we want to believe that somehow, we are not the one to blame, when indeed, it's all on us.
oh my. how i wish i do things differently.
and now im stuck here, trying to figure out ways to solve everything, when i actually haven't find any.
ya Allah, help me.....im scared.....
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