my night out.

salam.

yesterday was such a great day. and a damn tiring one, too. been up since God knows how early, cooked lunch for khairul and neya (4 dishes+kitchen cleaning in less than one hour, even i impressed with myself), and off to klcc. watching new moon (im a huge, humongous fan of the twilight saga but i think this movie is pretty slow, book's version is much2 better, as always, and yeah, pretty frustrating for a book reader like me). thank goodness we have bought the tickets online, bcz when we arrived there, the queuing line was as long as the place can hold. haha.

bcz i easily get tired, i was tired already and my legs were aching even before we entered the first exhibition room. but we walked and walked and walked until we reached the exhibition room for computer accesories n stuff. so he, nope, we, went looking for his external hard disk. ok did i tell u i was tired already? and the room was freaking congested with people from all sizes and smells. haha. very bingit too, with people shouting the goodness of their products and bargaining for cheaper prices or better offers. and my head started to spin. and after like forever (for me of course, we actually only went to like one fifth of the shops there haha thanks to my tiredness), he bought his hard disk for i forgot what the price was. and then we went through all the shops (we have to or we will never get to the exit door) and he found some very same hard disks with the same capacity and brand as his but with much cheaper prices (by rm7 i think), and he was quite frustrated and starting to regret his decision (to be fair to him, it was actually MY decision with some pretty good and logic reasons, actually i would have said anything just to not having to walk through all those stores for many many times hahaha) of buying before surveying the whole exhibition hall. n i think he started blaming me too, for being sooo tired i couldnt even bother to look for my keyboard protecter, bcz if it was up to him, he would have surveyed the whole building before buying. but i refused to accept my guilt (haha) and switched into defensive mode and told him if he wanted to go through the whole klcc then he should go with some of his gadget-freak friend instead of going with his lazy-to-walk, easily gets tired and boring girlfriend. but he said he never said that it was my fault that he bought the hard disk from that particular store, which was actually and hurtfully (haha) true bcz he never literally said that it was my fault (hahaha terasa sendiri kan nampak sgt bersalah tp tak nak mengaku).

then we went to jom heboh at bukit jalil. it was after ten when we finally reached there, and most of the booth had already been closed. i bought one bag of munchy's product, one bag of ribena's, and he bought 4 cans of nescafe for rm5. haha.

ok. this is the best part. both of us wanted to try the so-called famous nasi lemak at kampung baru. and after two hours of searching the place (ok im not going to tell u the whole process of searching the place bcz reminding myself alone will make me feel like i am the world idiotest idiot) we finally found nasi lemak antarabangsa. very frustrating, bcz the nasi lemak is not that good, and the price, oh God, so expensive for a not-so-delicious nasi lemak. sooo not going back. haha.

off to uptown danau kota at 1.

my legs were aching like mad. seriously. and i was soooo sleepy i couldnt even speak coherently (haha). but bcz i was with my loving, funny, charming, ever dearest boyfriend (sayang i know u read this sila tambah lagi sepasang baju kurung dalam perjanjian kita hahaha), so i was trying like mad to stay awake. haha. and we walked and walked and walked and the only thing i bought ( yes I paid with rm5 i took from HIS wallet haha) was a scarf. haha. and i dont know how, but i ended up watching a football match (it was manchester city vs chelsea and man city won the match, i think) with a can of coke, and a pair of barely open eyes. hahahaha. and we continued watching (it was Juventus vs InterMilan this time), nope, HE continued watching, I played sudoku on his fon, until it was morning enough to get back to serdang. he sent me home, i reached home some where around six am, freshen up, he went to masjid upm to solat subuh n self-cleaning process (haha ape itu self-cleaning process, is that phrase even existed? i wonder. haha). he fetched me for breakfast. off to putrajaya.

when we were pretty sure that it was late enough for alamanda to be finally opened for business (haha), we went there. i dont even know or notice what we were doing, but it was finally noon n i was hungry. we went for lunch at the food court, and we sat there till 3pm. after performing our solat, we went to puduraya to sent him home.

reached puduraya at 5.10pm. got a 5.30pm ticket. but the bus only arrived at 6pm at a DIFFERENT platform. but it was very, very hard to let him leave me, so i stayed with him until the bus arrived. then after he boarded his bus, i drove back to serdang. puduraya-serdang was a roughly 20min journey, but i took more than one hour to reach home, so u can guess how bad the traffic was. plus it was raining heavily.

finally reached home. nobody's home, as expected. self-cleaning, and finally sat here, updating. haha.

this stayed-up-all-night thing was never in plan actually, but since none of my housemates were home that saturday night (neya stayed up outside too, eating ikan bakar somewhere in kelang with her mates) and along went home for her friend's wedding, so i thought, why not we spend the night outside too, instead of leaving me sleeping alone at home. this is my first time doing this, so i was pretty surprised that i managed to stay awake all night. maybe bcz he was with me the whole time. so that's it. actually i am so sleepy, but im waiting for khairul to reach JB, and he already did about 5 minutes ago (alhamdullillah). so now i'll tuck myself in, and good night everyone.

ps to khairul: see what i did for u? i stayed up. i was awake all the time. not sleeping for even one second when u were driving. it took all my strength, but somehow, i managed. see? so please, another baju kurung in our agreement. now u owe me six baju kurung. or is it seven? nevermind, bcz i love u, i'll round it up to ten. hahaha. thanks for the night. and days. it was suuuuuperb! love u sayang!! XOXO

pps: sorry for all the typos and grammatical errors and everything. i am soo tired i dont even want to read and correct everything again. *wink

suatu outing itu.

salam.

mula2 takde la plan betul2 nak gather ke ape, just cakap2 dgn afiq aka apek yang i rindu dgn kawan2 rka dulu. then afiq kate, kalo nak gather, roger jek, die bleh tolong rogerkan kawan2 lain. than on friday, hari raya haji tu i pg rumah nana, die bertunang (congratulations dear~). mula2 tatau pon nana tunang, tp amal roger kata soh pg, so i pon siap n pg. so bila dah jumpa amal, i pon kata mesti best kalo bleh gather ramai2, afiq kata kalo nak gather roger je die. so amal ngn nana pon kate set. maka i pon telah meroger afiq untuk mengajak gather. maka semalam, bergather la kami. mula2 lepak dekat alif, restoran mamak kat tambak, pastu ramai2 pg tg piai. pastu solat dekat masjid serkat, n pg dinner sama2 kat permas. sangat havoc dn sgt rock la budak2 ni skrg, maybe sbb semua dah besar, tp still suka menyakat n loyar buruk sama je cam dulu. i memang tak pernah gather dgn this crowd of guys. selalu hang dgn budak2 baik mcm adzizie, ali, hadi, n all, tp kali ni, lepak dgn the darker side (ahahahaha) masa kat skolah dulu. so mereka2 yang datang:

girls. kami kaum perempuan memang tak ramai dlm kelas dulu. 2 kelas rka dan cuma ada 13 orang perempuan out of 60. yang lain sume lelaki.

1. amal: my very best friend. kawan gosip sehidup semati.
2. ummu: skrg dh jadi lecturer kat utm. baru lepas interview nak pg oversea untuk further her phd.
3. bedah: baru balik dpd kenduri kawen, terus pg mamak. sgt kecoh sama je mcm dulu. sumber gosip utama (sebab die yang paling ramai contact kat kawasan kukup sana).
4. nana: join cuma mase dinner, sbb kitorg lmbt bgtau die, die dah janji dulu dgn tunang die nak kuar cari brg hantaran.
5. noor: jumpe kat tg piai. sbb die keje sane skrg. sbb die la kami dpt separuh harga untuk entrance fee. haha. dan die jugak la yang bertanggungjawab membelanja semua orang punye dinner.

guys. ade la dlm 4 ke 5 kereta kot mase gi tg piai tu.
1. afiq @ apek: dulu kat skola i jarang gile cakap dgn die ni. tp skrg die la yg selalu contact dkt ym n facebook. bertanggungjawab mengumpulkan segerombolan budak2 lelaki yg join gathering ni.
2. harif: rasenye la spell name die mcm tu kalo i tak silap. haha. kenal muka die. tp nama tak ingat. same je mcm dulu. diam jek.
3. ayul: anak cikgu safiah. paling kecoh n paling byk tanya.
4. arif @ tonjang: die ni muka paling tak berubah. masih tinggi. masih sama rupa. cara cakap pon masih sama.
5. shahir.
6. hazeli.
7. anuar @ jueh.
8. azahari @ zack.
9. najib.
10. malan.
11. shahizwan @ sabun.
12. khaizum. die ni bukan clasmet. tp kawan kepada clasmet. ntah sape yg bwk die. tp he's a great sport la, tak kesah pon.
13. napi: he's also my boyfren's fren. agak rapat jugak kot. jadi asyik la bertanya mane la en boyfren. ish.
14. a-rey.

sungguh2 sgt best. dn malan ajak pg umah die 13 disember nt, wedding abang die. maybe bleh jadi next gathering?

looking forward to our next gath!

ps: gmbr takde. my camera rosak. i rase handicap gile bile takde kamera ni. ayo.

pps: puas hati?

sudahlah.

sekarang semua orang dah tahu. tahu cuma cerita versi kau. dan the so-called kawan2 tu pun tak pernah bother untuk dengar cerita versi aku. tak bagi peluang langsung untuk aku defend diri sendiri. memanglah kau merana. aku tahu kau merana. tapi sebab kita ade crowd kawan2 yang sama. mereka nampak kau yang baik. kau lah mangsa kezaliman aku. aku lah yang paling jahat. aku lah yang hancurkan hati kau. tapi hati aku yang hancur mereka tak nampak. perasaan aku mereka tak tahu. kenapa? sbb aku tak pernah beritahu. masalah aku adalah masalah aku. aku tak pernah malukan kau depan kawan2 aku atau kawan2 kau. aku tak pernah cerita apa2 pun pada siapa2. semua rahsia kau, siapa kau sebenar, aku simpan kuat2 dalam hati aku. aku tak tahu sama ada kau atau siapa pun yang sebarkan cerita, tapi kawan2 aku dah bukan lagi kawan2 aku. okay. mungkin bukan semua. mungkin hanya yang rapat dengan kau. yang jadi saksi penderitaan kau. tapi aku dah hilang sebahagian daripada kawan2 aku. kawan2 yang pernah bertukar cerita, berkongsi meja dengan aku satu masa dulu. aku ralat. sebab mereka tak pernah tahu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi. mungkin kalau mereka tahu apa yang terjadi, mereka tak akan benci aku. mungkin kalau mereka tahu cerita dari pihak aku, mereka tak akan buang aku. atau tidak. mungkin mereka masih benci dan buang aku walaupun mereka tahu cerita versi aku. tapi tak apa. sekurang-kurangnya mereka tahu kisah sebenar. sekurang-kurangnya mereka tahu cerita dari dua belah pihak. sekurang-kurangnya mereka menghukum aku kerana memang salah aku. ya. aku mengaku. aku memang bersalah. semuanya bukan salah kau sepenuhnya. mungkin jika aku lebih berterus terang tentang apa yang aku rasa, perkara tak akan jadi seteruk ini. mungkin jika aku lebih lantang bersuara, mereka akan mendengar. tapi aku bukan orang yang berterus terang dengan apa yang aku rasa. aku bukan orang yang lantang bersuara. dan kau tahu. kau tahu semuanya. kau tahu aku tidak akan bersuara walaupun hati aku sakit. sebab kau adalah antara manusia yang mengenali siapa aku sebenarnya. kau adalah antara manusia yang tahu cara aku berfikir dan bertindak. kau adalah antara manusia yang tahu aku sanggup korbankan segalanya termasuk perasaan aku sendiri demi orang2 penting dalam hidup aku. kau tahu. jadi mungkin kawan2 aku tak akan tahu perkara sebenar. jadi mungkin kawan2 aku tak akan tahu cerita versi aku. sebab aku tak pernah berniat nak bercerita kepada mereka. kepada sesiapa. jadi mungkin mereka akan terus hukum aku. dan aku akan terus menjadi villain dalam cerita ini. tapi aku rasa aku lebih sanggup terus jadi villain daripada memalukan sesiapa. dan cerita2 yang terlepas? dan kawan2 yang bukan lagi kawan2? memang aku kesal. tapi tak ada apa yang boleh aku buat lagi untuk selamatkan keadaan. even kau minta maaf seribu tahun sekali pun, even aku dah maafkan kau hingga ke dosa terakhir kau dengan aku, aku tetap hilang kawan2. aku tetap jadi penghancur hati di mata kawan2 aku. aku tetap dihina. aku tetap manusia yang buat kau merana. sebab tak ada apa yang kau boleh buat untuk mengubah pandangan mereka terhadap aku. sebab apa yang terjadi dah pun terjadi. maka aku redha walaupun aku sedih. aku redha aku hilang kawan2. aku redha aku jadi penjahat. aku redha mereka pandang aku hina.

sebab aku tak akan sekali2 menceritakan keburukan sesiapa kepada sesiapa pun, walaupun akibatnya keburukan itu jadi milik aku.

----

salam.

first skali nak btau, remember the dinner yg i mentioned kat previous entry yg khairul said it'll be special bla bla bla? well, the dinner sucks. ok not because one of us spoilt the evening, bukan2. bukan salah kami. salah makanan. the food tak sedap. ok bukan la sampai tahap tak boleh makan, sbb i memg lapar so i telan je, tp i pernah jumpe menu yg sama yg jauh lebih sedap dpd those food. n i malas la nak complain byk2 kan, sbb khairul mmg merungut je spnjg time makan tu. die memg sgt la particular tentang ape yg masuk dlm mulut die. so bile die dh asyik merungut, tak kan la i pon nak merungut jugak kan. so i dengar kan je dn telan je la makanan yg dh terhidang tu. oh and the price is damn expensive too. kitorg pernah mkn menu yg lebih kurg same dgn harga less than rm70. n guess how much this dinner cost us? rm95.70. haih. dah la tak sedap. memg la takkan dtg lagi kat situ.

so i dh smpi kajang on friday sebenarnya. pastu tido kajang satu mlm. pastu mlm ni (sebenarnya dh pagi pon) tido la umah terchenta ni. ntah la memg i ni ade trouble sleeping ke ape kan, tp kalo smpi kat serdang ni, mesti susah nk tido. kalo kat umah kajang ke umah pontian ke, even mase lepak bilik ain kat utm pon, pkul 1 tu dh tak bleh bukak mate dh. tp kalo kat serdang ni, pkul 3 pon masih fresh lagi la mate ni tak mau tutup. ok die boleh je nak tutup sbnrnye tp u got the idea la kan. aiyoo.

next week kami the rockin housemates ade plan besar yg menyusahkan diri sendiri dan mengoyakkan poket yg tak berape berisi ni. kami nak tour pg pantai timur. sbb hari first raya haji tu my ex rumet -ana- yg jugak ex rumet neya nak kawen. sebenrnye die dah nikah pon tp baru nak sanding ni kan. dn hari raya kedua tu senior kitorg nak kawen. pastu ade la nk pg melawat anak zihan punye cukur jambul ke ape ntah. pastu nk melawat trex. bukan trex dinosor. trex yg name btol die atirah. haha. dn sebenarnye kitorg love any excuse to berjalan2. maka raya haji tahun ni jauh la dpd umah. huhu. sedih jugak sbnrnye, sbb mase raya haji ni la mak nak masak bende sedap2. tp ingatkan nak balik umah pas tour tu so harap mak dpt masakkan lagi la. hahaha.

nak kena lelapkan mata. walaupun esok ahad dn i boleh tido smpi tgh hari. tp kene tido jugak skrg. mari tutup mata dn berangan kawen dgn prince charming.

quick update.

salam.

hola. skrg tgh packing sbb esok nak balik johor. haha. sbb nt raya haji tak balik sbb insya Allah nk pg wedding ana dgn kak bazzy. so kene balik la kalo tak nt kene isytihar anak derhaka karang tak masuk syurga pulak. maka update sbb nak bgtau this geeky nerdy girl just bought 2 new novels!


and finished reading them too!

ok so far out of this too, rasenye where rainbows end lagi best kot, sbb cara writer die tulis kinda unique. cerita die basically simple je, two bestfriends yang dh kawan baik since 5 didnt even realize they love each other, or they actually did but neither one of them wanted to admit their feeling. so they've ended up marrying other person and getting children and all. smpi la one time ni the guy finally admit yg die in love dgn the girl, which actually not really a girl anymore, since mase the guy confess tu, they were 50 years old! cliche enough. yg best n unik nye, cerita ni bukan mcm cerita biasa. this novel consists of lots and lotsa emails, letters, short messages, n stuff. memg takde langsung perenggan2 ke ape, kecuali die punye epilogue. so best la.

remember me pulak pasal satu girl ni yg accident pastu woke up dgn memories of three years back. she kinda lost a huge chunk of her memories, bcz in these three years, she actually married a mr. perfect, hac a perfect job, perfect look n stuff la. best jugak.

so im going to finish my packing (omg there are still sooo many things to pack!!) and if there is still time i want to watch a korean drama, cruel love (hero die lelaki yang berlakon stairway to heaven tu). cite sedih, first episod je dh byk nangis2. tp happy ending kot. tatau. tak abes tgk lagi. baru episod 4. n ive bought this dvd like half a year ago. hahahaha.

tomorrow got meeting with dr fauzi my ever beloved supervisor n after lunch, i'll be off to johor. and i'll have my dinner with khairul somewhere, i dunno, he said it'll be special just for two of us, n i just cant wait!

till then, tata~

sorries.

Dear brain,
sorry for overloading you with thoughts of him.

Dear tummy,
sorry for all the butterflies.

Dear pillow,
sorry for all the tears.

Dear heart,
sorry for all the damages.

Dear me,
sorry for being head-over-heels in love with him.

allergy.

salam.

hari ni i nak cerita pasal allergic. allergy. bukan elegi sepi macam yang azharina nyanyi tu. bukan2. tp allergy yang allergy la. tp my operational definition (cehceh mcm tgh tulis chapter 1 thesis pulak nak operational definition kan) kat sini is restriction to eat anything or to have physical contact with anything that will do damaged to ur body. any kind of damage. gatal2 ke. muntah2 ke. ape2 la.

kenape tibe2 rase mcm nak ckp pasal allergy? sbb td, hujan lebat sgt. kat my place ni, kalo hujan yg lebat sgt, air akan bertakung kat parking kereta tu. bertakung mcm banjir. bukan mcm kat kelantan tu. bukan2. bertakung yang cukup untuk tenggelamkan my whole feet kalo i pakai selipar buruk kaler pink yg beli kat giant mines tu. and to make it worse, my place ni anjing byk jalan-jalan, orang buang sampah sepah2, so i think u got the idea how euwwy air yang bertakung is.

dan tadi la jugak fakulti call kate my check dah siap. check yg claim untuk elaun demonstrator lab phy2001. mestila i nak ambik kan, mane bleh tunggu esok. lagi pun i nak anta tudung putih kat my sister yg kat mersing tu. pos laju. so i kene kuar la jugak kan by hook or by crook. hujan lebat atau panas terik.

ingat eh. hujan lebat. air bertakung kat parking lot. sampah byk sepah2. ok.

ok then pkul 2.30 i pon roger la aifaa soh turun. aifaa tunggu kat lift tingkat 9. so trun la same2. God its raining heavily sampai nampak everything mcm kaler grey jek. pastu i parking kat sebelah lift. usually i tak parking kat situ tp the night before i balik malam sbb beli beras kat giant mines dgn housemates n that was the only parking lot yg ade.

n there u go. dah la hujan lebat. tempat i parking tu pulak la tempat yg paling dalam air bertakung. i dgn aifaa dah gelak2 dah, sambil fikir mcm mane la nak pg kat kereta ni. last2 kene la redah jugak. rendam la kaki dlm air yg ade God knows what. masuk kereta je terus bukak selipar. kaki memg dah basah habis la kan. sangat geli tp nak buat mcm mane.

belum pon separuh jalan, kaki dah gatal2. mesti allergic dgn air. i memg la kalah dgn air yg tak berape bersih ni. worst case scenario, kalo air tu sgt lah kotor tak bleh tolerate, my whole body akan naik rashes yg gatal smpi tak bleh nk tido mlm sbb asyik nak menggaru jek. so tatau la sbb psikologi i yg kate air kat tempat parking yg dh merendam kaki i dan kaki2 God knows how many people sgt kotor smpi kaki i gatal2, atau memg air tu kotor menyebabkan kaki i gatal2. tp memg gatal la. so abes je sume station yg kene singgah -jbtn fizik, pejabat bendahari fakulti, cimb, post office, mcdonalds-, terus balik rumah n basuh kaki dgn sabun dettol. sabun dettol ye kawan2. dan jeans yang i pakai td - jeans baru kuar dpd drawer ye, baru basuh, baru first time pakai- dah masuk dlm bakul laundry.

n yet sampai sekarang kaki i masih gatal2 lagi. sampai i terpaksa letak minyak angin nak elak garu2.

dan some of bende2 lain yg i rase (rase ye haha) i allergy:

1. seafood. rasenye ni allergy yang paling common kot. dan i cuma tak bleh makan udang jek. bcz if i did, nt jari2 i yang tak berapa nak runcing dan halus ni akan naik bintat-bintat merah yang berair tu menyebabkan ia kelihatan lebih tidak runcing dan lebih tidak halus. i sebenarnye tak pernah ade allergy dgn seafood sampai la mase i second year, i selalu kene bisul kat mate. ade satu doktor kat PK ni kate i allergic dgn seafood padahal i tak pon, so die bg i ubat ape ntah yang lepas i makan jek, badan i terus naik gatal2 n jadi lagi teruk bile i makan udang. sungguh cis la doktor ni. bagi ubat makin buat allergy ke ape. dapat medical degree kat mexico ke. so since then memg la i tak bleh makan udang. tp i buat2 boleh je. telan je sume udang yang ade. boils or no boils, sanggup ku redahi demi kelazatan seekor udang. hahahaha.

2. oily food. by oily, i mean too oily yang smpi u boleh nmpk minyak2 die. ni selalunye ade kat ayam goreng yg dah kene goreng for God knows how many times. nasi minyak, nasi beriani, nasi tomato, nasi2 yang berlaukkan lauk yang lebih kurang mcm tu pon. nt i sakit kepala. sakit kepala sampai rase mcm nak muntah. haha. yang ni i memg pantang la. tak larat weh sakit kepala. ape keje pon tak jalan. n since skrg ni my hempedu ade problem, memg la lagi tak bleh makan lemak2. tapi badan makin lame makin berlemak. dgn lemak badan sendiri tak de nak allergic pulak. haha.

3. shampoo rejoice. i figure out yg i tak bleh pakai shampoo rejoice ni mase kat samura. one day tu my shampoo abes n i mintak la shampoo one of my dormmates dn i end up sakit kepala wengweng sampai kene dok sickbay satu hari. mule2 tu tatau la yg buat sakit kepala tu shampoo, ingat bende salah makan ke panas sangat ke ape ntah. pastu pakai lagi sekali, pon masuk sickbay lagi. sah la. yang ni pon i tak ignore. i memg avoid shampoo rejoice.

4. body odour. atau pon bau2 yang tidak menyenangkan. i memg sgt sensitif, my nose memg sgt peka terhadap bau yg pelik2 especially bau badan. dn i akan suffer lagi teruk than others la kalo terbau bau pelik2 ni. sampai satu tahap boleh termuntah. huhu. no offense la people with body odour, deodoran melambak-lambak jual kat supermarket. bukan mahal pon. takkan la diri sendiri pon tak bau.

5. bende masam. yang ni i bukan allergic. i tak suke. taksuketaksuketaksuke. tak boleh terime. intolerable.

dan byk lagi la since i ni memg demand orangnye. haha.

so sebenarnye allergy ni byk main dgn kite nye psikologi (oh adakah ini bermaksud i seorang psiko???). mind over matter. tp bagi kes2 yg teruk sampai masuk hospital n everything tu, tu memg kene elak la kan. tapi untuk orang yang banyak sangat songeh (haha) mcm i ni, kene la ubati perasaan tu sendiri. bukan selamanya kita hidup senang kan. bukan setiap masa pun kite bleh dpt ape yang kite nak. huhu.

ok skrg kene tido esok pagi kene present storyboard kat dr fauzi. walaupun blom siap lagi. haha. tido itu lebih penting.

nite-nite.

mom...

I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
And Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today

Taylor Swift - The Best Day

dedicated to the best mom God ever created. i love u mom. really really love u.

meronda bersama housemates.

salam.

lebih kurang hari isnin hari tu kot, tgh2 kitorg bertiga tgk tv, tibe2 neya kate, ' gi jalan2 jom?'. so i pun suggest melaka, n along suggest bukit tinggi. mule2 mcm tak yakin je nak pg ke tak kan, plus skrg ni musim hujan, so what's the point of going there kalo hujan kan. tp pagi sabtu tu sume org siap n menaiki mr bird, kitorg pon gerak ke bukit tinggi dgn harapan tak hujan la hari tu.

berhenti breakfast kat RnR genting sempah. oh god, every where ade org kelantan yg sgt2 berbaju merah putih. ade lebih dpd 4 buah bas kot yg ade bendera kelantan since mlm tu ade match yang kelantan lawan negeri sembilan yang negeri sembilan menang pastu org kelantan bakar seat kat stadium. well, we know kelantanese are kinda weird that way, they love their state so much that sometimes they do across the line but im not talking about mereka.

pastu kitorg pon teruskan perjalanan, smpi ke rabbit park, after that colmar tropicale, dan baru japanese village. here are some pictures, tak ikut turutan sbb i mls nak drag2, so yeah.













kitorg agak lucky la sbb memg tak hujan, cume mase kitorg nak turun balik tu hujan yg agak lebat jugak la. tp ok la. singgah mines, ingat nak tgk papadom. tp tiket malam la pulak. so balik rumah dulu, mandi sembahyang sume, pastu pkul 8.15 kuar gi mines balik. tiket kol 8.30. haha. mentang2 la dekat kan. asib baik parking pun agak senang la.

dan mase tgk wayang, huh. i was sooo unfortunate to be seated beside a couple. bukan masalah nye kene dok sblh couple tu. masalahnye i dok sebelah si boyfren n man, his mouth stinks! bau busuk gile weh. bercakap pun bau. pastu boleh die burp pulak! 2 kali pulak tu! ya rabbi, i memg dh nak muntah dah kat situ. dah buwek2 dah, luckily tak kuar pape. so throughout the movie i tutup hidung dgn sweater. langsung tak bleh nak concentrate tgk cite. rcf^&WC/.';/mrnym/'.; punye org. yang pelik tu, awek die yang baring kat bahu die boleh tak bau, padahal neya yg dok selang satu seat (seat i la) boleh bau. btol la. cinta memg buta. pekak. bisu. takde sebarang sense at all. huhu. i rase mcm nak offer clorets je kt die. tp malas la takut die offended n jadi gaduh la pulak. so i suffered in silence la. haih. rugi jek rm10.

so thats about that. one whole day berjalan, pkul 11 dah tak mampu nak bukak mata. tido tak terjaga sampai la pkul 10. hahahahaha.

crap crappier crappiest.

salam.

hello.

sebenarnye setiap kali i bace others' blogs i akan buka page create post ni n start writing updates, tp setiap kali pun i akan stop writing sbb i tak cukup idea tatau nak tulis ape. same thing happens here, i baru lepas bloghopping -akmar,mira,hanis zalikha,farini,amal,zalikha,etc- n i opened this page n i started writing. lets hope i tak stop halfway when my ideas stop flowing n this entry will become draft n i will delete it 3 days later, not bothering to continue writing.

oh. i memg tak suke stop separuh jalan dn sambung balik. dalam apa2 perkara pun. kalo i buat keje separuh jalan, memg sampai situ je la i buat. memg tak akan sambung. that's why i tried very hard not to do things halfway. when i start, i finish. so before i start working on things, i akan pastikan i dah mandi, dah solat, dah makan, n dah buat everything so that bila i dah start duduk depan laptop n do my work, i dont have to bangun n do something else. i even akan letak satu botol air mineral by my side so everytime i haus, i dont have to get out of my room to get some water. sebab tu la i suke buat keje after isyak. pukul 10 malam baru start buat keje. n khairul selalunya akan jadi sgt2 understanding bila i banyak keje, he will call me just to say good night n let me finish my work without any disturbance.

n i think, i work my best while under pressure. usually people tak bleh concentrate bile under pressure n start to mess things up, but thats not my case. me, i need pressure to work. n i work wonders under pressure too. ok maybe not your kind of wonders. but its enough for me, as long as i can get atleast 9/10 in every assignment, n that's always the case. i concentrate when im stressed. haha. i know im a weirdo. but i dont care. everybody has their own way to do things n this is my way.

n my working environment? i need quiet. dead-of-night kind of quiet. its different when studying, i can study in whatever condition. i can study while watching tv, i surely can study while listening to my playlist, i can study in a crowd of people shouting to each other. all those sounds wont bother me, i even feel a lil bit weird studying without any sounds at all. but working, no. i need quiet. so when i have piles of work to do, i go to the library n sit in the quiet section (its block a in psas upm). or i'll start working at 10pm. sbb mase tu memg dah senyap. ok tolak la bunyi all those vehicles kat highway n erl n komuter. benda tu bukan kita boleh control pon. haha.

since this time its about me, here are some random things about me that u might not know n u wont even bother to know but i'll post it here anyway.

- i make the bed before i went to bed. i akan 'jeng' kan my bedsheet, fold my blanket, n position my pillows accordingly sebelum i lie down. haha. what's the point, i know. tp i tak selesa tido kalo cadar tu crumple2. kalo i dah baring tp i rase cadar tu mcm tak terpasang dengan betul n mcm longgar2 jek, i akan bangun dn betulkan cadar, no matter how sleepy i am. haha. weirdo. i know.

- sebelum i tido, i'll read. anything good. from novels to magazine. but im not a magazine type, so its always a novel. at least 3 pages. its like my own sleeping ritual.

- i sleep with atleast 2 books. literally. on the bed with me. haha.

- a week before my menstrual, i'll eat a lot. a lot. cant stop munching.

- sejak2 i dok umah sewa n masak, i tak pernah kesah dgn how much money i hv inside my purse. pernah tu i cume ade rm4 for two weeks. i will only withdraw the money bile i nak isi minyak kete, nak bayar sewa rumah, nak beli barang dapur or nak pg jalan2. haha. nak buat ape simpan cash byk2. bukan nk gune pon. emergency? visa kan ade. haha.

- i tak pandai menawar. i rase segan nak tawar2 harga. kalo harga barang tu rm50, itu la yg i bayar. bile pg shopping dgn sape2 pun, kalo org tu start bargaining, i akan pg tempat lain. menyorok celah2 tudung ke. sbb i segan. haha. i think its an inherited trait la. i tak pernah nmpk my mom or my dad bargaining gile2 smpi mcm nak gaduh dgn org kedai tu. paling2 pun 2, 3 kali mintak kurang, pastu dah. itu pun kalo harga die ridiculous gile. mak kate, setiap rezeki tu ade bahagian org lain. kan ke kalo kite meniaga, untung kite tak bleh lebih dpd 50% harga barang? jadi i percaya je la dgn makcik2 jual tudung kat kedai tu.kesian pulak nak tawar2. hahaha.

hahahaha. so that, are some random facts about me. boring tho it might seems, tp sukati i la. i bukan blogging sbb nak cerita pasal some political issue. i hate politics by the way. i bukan blogging sbb i nak komen pasal budget 2010 or harga minyak baik or some other issue. there are enough blogger out there who write about that. i bukan blogging sbb nak promote barang. i blog, sbb i nak blog. bcz i love writing crappy things. bcz i love talking about myself. bcz i want to share things i do, i did.

so for some people yg rase its not worth reading my blog bcz its not 'berilmu' or 'berfaedah', stop reading. i dont remember inviting u. tp for some of others yg tak kesah pon. u are soo welcomed. welcome to read, welcome to share thought, welcome to tegur me if i did something wrong.

there. i finished writing. after a lot of crappy talking. haha.

takde motif.

salam. sbenarnya i ada byk keje nak kene siapkan mlm ni, tp sbb im soo sleepy n am waiting for the caffeine to kick in, i decided to write an entry. but i didnt decide what am i going to write about, so i guess we'll just go random je lah.

1. i nak ucap tahniah sgt2 dkt my besterestest fren, nahar yg dh diterima bekerja as a reseach engineer (if im not mistaken) dkt proton, shah alam. i am sooo very proud of you. finally u dpt jugak keje yg u suke. alhamdulillah.

2. i tgh rase risau sgt skrg sbb i dh terbuat satu kesalahn yg menentukan hidup dn mati i dlm program master ni. skrg i just hope for the best and prepare for the worse. sbb i know, memg i yg salah. tsk.

3. i rase i dh gemuk sgt skrg. gemuk sgt. dh terase diri sendiri berat nak bwk. haha tipu. tp memg i rase dh gemuk sgt. maka i skrg tgh berkire2 untuk start dieting. tp blom research lagi. haha. i miss my matric self. i want that weight again!

4. i tak sabar nk tunggu new moon kuar.

5. minggu depan i nk gi pasang rear seatbelt kat mr bird. euw i know that sounds so dirty, but its not. mr bird is my car. kenari? bird? can u see the resemblance? ahahahahahaha.

6. i need to shop for new clothes!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. dah takde idea.

oklah bye.

broken hearted.

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

Broken hearted girl - beyonce

hmm.

ok2. i dh tau dh. blog memg dh penuh dgn sawang. buat ape ade blog kalo tak bleh nk update every other day kan? ok maybe bukan every other day, tp sure la bukan 2 minggu sekali kan. haha. i memg tgh agak busy kot skrg ni, sbb sem dh nk abes kan. so assignments sume kene submit, plus i hv an interview. technically i wasnt being interviewed, but yeah. whatever lah.

the interview, i mean, my INSAK test went quite well. oh i think God would forgive me for being such a hypocrite bitch while answering those Qs. bukannye ape, kalo i jujur segala kan, confirm la i tak lulus that test kan? so terpaksala hipokrit dn mengaku yg baik2 saja. contoh soalan yg ridiculous,

1. adab makan saya adalah berbeza di rumah dan di luar. ( i mean, ape kene mengena2 perbezaan adab makan dgn jadi cikgu?)

2. saya tidak akan berkongsi buku yang anda pinjam walaupun ia mengandungi maklumat penting. (ok yg ni i serious confuse. saya? anda?)

serious, kalau someone dpd my faculty yg expert pasal instrument development bace soalan2 dlm buku pink ni, confirm diorg akan suruh kementerian buat semula. betul. sekejap saya, sekejap anda, confuse. bukan ke personality test ni adalah a type of survey? dn mengikut ape yg i dh belaja slnjg sem ni, instrument tak bleh mengelirukan respondent. maka kalau i salah faham dn fail, then u cannot blame me. blame the confusing questions, n whoever developed them (defensive mode).

ntah la. i tatau nk tulis ape lagi. kepala asyik fikir pasal assignments prof habibah yg nak antar esok. ptg ni anta assignment dr othman. esok pun nak exam research method, ape pun tak bace lagi. haih.

friends.forever.

True Friends - Miley Cyrus

We sent our cards and letters BFF
You've got a million ways to make me laugh
You're looking out for me
You've got my back
So good to have you around

You know the secrets I could never tell
And when I'm quiet you break through my shell
Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell
Cuz you keep my feet on the ground

You're a true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside when somethin' ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
Till it's alright again
You're a true friend

You don't get angry when I change the plans
Somehow you're never out of second chances
Won't say "I told you" when I'm wrong again
I'm so lucky that I found

A true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside when somethin' ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
Till it's alright again

True friends will go to the end of the earth
Till they find the things you need
Friends hang on to the ups and the downs
Cuz they got someone to believe in

You're a true friend
You're here 'til the end
You pull me aside me aside when somethin' ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night,
No need to pretend

You're a true friend
You're here 'til the end
You pull me aside when somethin' ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
'Til it's alright again
You're a true friend

You're a true friend
You're a true friend

***********now this is me talking***********

sesungguhnya i sangat grateful and thankful with my circle of friends. u guys are the greatest in the world.

dedicated to those who stuck with me come hell or high water. those who stayed in my ups and downs. those who never failed to be by my side no matter what. those who still hold my hand when everyone else doesnt. those who lifted me up when im falling down. those who still believed in me when rumours spreading out. u are the best. u are the greatest. and im so thankful to have u around.

ain.amal.along.neya.nahar.faiz.ezy.aifaa.fauzi.

thanks.for everything.





Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.

finally.

TAHNIAH!

Anda berjaya dipanggil temuduga Guru Sandaran Terlatih Siswazah (GSTS) Keluaran IPTA Sesi Okt/Nov 2009. Berikut adalah maklumat panggilan temuduga tersebut:

No. Kad Pengenalan : 870509016048

Nama : Yuhaniz binti Anuar
Tempat Temuduga : Bahagian Teknologi Pendidikan Negeri,
No 1 Jalan Hang Jebat,
Taman Skudai Baru,
81300 Skudai,
Johor
Tarikh Temuduga : 29 Oktober 2009
Masa Temuduga : 8 pagi

besok jugak i cabut balik johor~

almost lover.

Almost lover - A Fine Frenzy

You fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you’d never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you’re gone and I’m haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy for you
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

hmm.

di satu malam yg dh nak pagi dh pun..

him: sayang, abg rase kan org yg curi fon abg tu pakai penyepit la.

me: penyepit?mcm tweezer tu?

him: ape bende tu? sejenis kuih yg dh pupus ke?

me: bukan la. tweezer. yg salu org gune untuk kuarkan splinters tu.

him: splinters?

me: ye la. splinters. ala kalau kite pegang kayu2 yg dh nk reput tu, pastu serpihan kayu tu mcm termasuk kat dlm kulit kite tu. ala...ape ek splinters dlm bahasa melayu?

him: ntah. splinters tu ape pun abg tak tau. baru first time dgr ni.

me: hmmm..(fikir jap)..ha! selumbar! splinters tu selumbar la syg.

him: selumbar? ape tu?

me: abg ni. selumbar pun tatau. selumbar tu splinters la. yg serpih kayu masuk dlm kulit kite pastu sakit pastu bengkak tu.

him: syg tau tak, 23 tahun abg hidup, baru ni la first time abg dgr selumbar. abg baru nk save as dlm kepala abg ni.

me: tipu la. semua org pun tau selumbar. abg ni dulu skolah kat mane?

him: selumbar tu org pontian je yg pakai. org layang tak panggil bende tu selumbar.

me: ye la tu. abes org layang panggil bende tu ape?

him: selamber.

dikala ini i rase memg i dh ketuk die kalo die ade depan i.

me: byk la abg.

him: betul la. maybe abg pnh dgr kot tp tak register dlm kepala.

me: gile denial seh die ni (dlm hati je la).

him: syg, abg rase sbb perkataan tu la abg dpt B kot spm abg. syg memg hebat la. byk vocab bm. patut la dpt A spm dulu.

me: hmm memang. ha tapi tau tak tweezer tu ape?

him: tweezer tu bende ape la pulak?

me: ala bende kecik yg org bawak keluar splinters tu dpd tgn la.

him: la, yg org buat cabut uban tu? salah. tak menepati konsep betul la. abg ckp pasal penyepit la.

me: tweezer tu penyepit la.

him: bukan la. abg ckp pasal penyepit yg salu org pakai nk amek arang tu.

me: yg mcm sepit kuih tu ke?

him: bukan la. yg mcm gunting tu.

me: ok. pastu?

him: abg rase die sambungkan jadi panjang la. pastu gune bende tu la die curi fon abg.

me: ye lah.



mcm tu pun bleh jadi issue. hihi. but he is who he is. sunshine. lights up my day everytime. =)

some issue.

i miss u.

n it sucks, because i cannot miss u.

u cannot be missed.

but i miss u n i miss u so much it makes me wanna cry.

bcz it sucks.

but i miss u.

i miss u.

n i miss u.

it sucks.

n it hurts, too. deeply, even.

alone and lonely.

now its 3 am in the morning, and i hv to wake up early tomorrow (technically its today but whatever i dun care) bcz dr fauzi is fetching me at 10 o'clock. but i still cant sleep. yeah i know i hv a lot of trouble sleeping these days, but tonight, somehow its more troubling, u know.

bcz im alone tonight. alone in this home. n bcz i am a penakut person to an excruciating level, even the sound of a needle dropped on to the floor scares me. plus its deepavali n somehow my neighbours manage to feel the need of firing firecrackers at 3o'clock in the morning n clearly did not have the courtesy to let people sleep soundly on their bed. plus it sounds like its raining heavily outside. plus a truck driver decided to push his honk button at this moment. i am so scared, i couldnt even close my eyes. every sound registered, u know, n tiny, tiny little sound sounds like a bomb was dropped somewhere outside my house. yes i know i am 22 now n will become 23 in less than a year, n 23 is such an age where i start working n half way thru my masters n all, but im still as penakut as i was 20 years ago. my mother said when i was 2, i was so scared of people, that i cried even when my neighbour back then was looking at me. he was just looking for heaven sake, n i was in my mom's arms, n i cried. pathetic, was i? ha. ha. i dun care. i was a penakut kid, i am a penakut adult (am i matured enuf to legally become an adult now? i dunno. u decide) n i am not ashamed to admit that. what is wrong with being penakut? i am not a coward, im just afraid of many many things. haha.

so im spending my time playing cafe world, an application in facebook, while waiting for grey's anatomy to finish downloading. oh did u know that george died? he was dragged by a bus for like five miles or something, after pushing a woman out of the way. a stranger woman. how many of us will do that? i mean, im not sure i will. a total stranger. n i like george. n i missed him on the show. n now izzie has been fired. but i wont stop watching anyway. bcz i still cant get enough of derek, and his mcdreamy thing. haha.

tomorrow i'll be off to sg besar. somewhere between tg karang n tg malim, i think. i dont know. but the journey will take about 2 hours, i think. the treatment will take place on monday afternoon, actually, but dr fauzi needs us to be there in the morning to set up 3 computer labs, n we have to pack the goodie bags for all the subjects, that is to say, form 2 students in SMK Sg Besar who will be involved in this study. so there's a lot of work to be done, n that's why we are leaving tomorrow. n we will spend the night at ellie's house. ellie is one of the 5 masters students who are involved in this study. the others, well, there's me, of course, aifaa, izzah, n fazliana, or mek na, dr fauzi's RA, zaimah, n dr fauzi.

i think i need to lay down now. hope to get some sleep before tomorrow.

till then.

to my man.

i love you and i love you more everyday. so dont stop loving me and dont give up on me. i know i am such a selfish bitch sometimes, but it doesnt mean that i love you less. please, dont give up on me. u are my definition of a man, u are perfect for me. i love u because u are u. so dont stop being u. because u are perfect for me. u made my day. u are one of the best thing that ever happened to me.

and i look forward to the day we become one.

pantang.

this pantang i am going to talk about is not ko-memg-pantang-jumpe-durian-ko-mesti-nak-telan-20-biji pantang, nor ko-memg-pantang-jumpe-aku-ko-mesti-nak-buat-aku-sakit-hati pantang. this is ko-kene-pantang-makan-bende-ni-beb-kalo-tak-ko-bleh-bentan-punye pantang. n being told not to eat something u have been eaten like the rest of ur life is soo annoying u know, especially when it is for-ur-own-good kind of thing.

n i do hv a thing for fat. real fat, like kulit ayam. u know that pak mail (he's the family fren who also is an alternative medicine practitioner) said that kulit ayam adalah lemak yang paling lemak dalam dunia. n it is also my favourite (look at my size now n u will see that i eat kulit ayam religiously).

n seeing that the problem with me is my hempedu cannot function well, n everybody who took biology for their spm will know that jus hempedu tu berfungsi untuk digest lemak, so i was being told to avoid all kind of lemak, because my digestion system will not be able to digest them properly. n i am not to eat outside food anymore, for we dont know if they have re-use the cooking oil for God knows how many times. fast food are also out, which means no KFC, no McD, no pizzahut, no ayamas whatsoever. mamak memg dh out awal2, so no roti canai kosong for me. that means i have to cook my own food, or eat rotis n vegetables n fruits n those rabbit food for a change. n when im cooking, i am not to use and re-use cooking oil. that means i hv to buy a whole stock of minyak masak after this, for i hv to throw them away after using them. n my favourite food, kulit ayam, is the most forbidden. like some kind of racun or something. ok, everybody knows kulit ayam memg no good for ur health. but they eat it anyway, right? so did i. so after this i hv to go for chicken breast for a change. oh i hate chicken breast. *frown.

why am i talkin about this? bcz i never care which food i can eat n which food i cant. i cannot eat prawns bcz they will give me boils all around my fingers, but i eat them anyway. i cannot eat nasi minyak with all those lauk that come with it, bcz they will give me headache, but i eat nasi minyak anyway. what do i care if i hv boils all around me or acute headache that pins me to the bed? i dont want to miss all those nikmat from the food i cant eat.

but when my mom said, ' mak cakap je, bagi tau, kalo ko nak hidup lama, ko elak la, tapi kalo ko rase dh byk sgt pahala dh ckup nk masuk syurga, ko buatla ikut suka hati ko', i tersentak. huhu. mak ni, sentap betul la. give me an ultimatum about life and death. so rase takut pun dtg. sbb i know, i blum ckup amal lagi nak jumpa Tuhan skrg. i need all those years i can have to repent and do all good deeds i can manage.

maka i bertekad, mulai daripada saat ini, i akan take my meds religiously. i will avoid oily food. i will not buy food outside if i could help it. i will stay away from fastfood n mamak. bcz i need to live longer. i dont want to kill myself. ok, not jump-off-the-roof punye suicidal, but u get what i mean. i will try to live a healthy life and eat healthy food.

ckp memg senang beb. nak buat? nak tinggalkan life yg kite dh hidup for 20 years? old habits die hard. really hard. but i will try. for me. for my mom. for my dad. for my family. for my future.

ps: u might wonder why i cant take my meds on time. bcz these meds, they need to be eaten with empty stomach. empty. perut kosong. i mean, i ate my meds like every morning when i woke up, but for the rest of the day, my stomach never empties. u see my problem? i dont have empty stomach, how can i take my meds? maybe after this i shud eat on time. an eating schedule is what i need. or maybe i cud eat a little bit less? i dont know.

whatever suits u. or not.

Ape yg penting?
Kemaafan..
Ape yg penting?
Keinsafan..
Binatang peliharaan hebat, binatang peliharaan hebat,
kami datang,
meminta kemaafan dan kami insaf
kami xbuat lagi dan kami xkn buat lagi
menyakitkan hati kamu untuk selamanya..



***now this is me talking***

sorry, did u just called me 'binatang peliharaan'?

u think its cute?

no its cute. it is so not cute.

bcz im all offended.

seriously, asking for forgiveness n calling people 'binatang peliharaan hebat' at the same time is not a good way to say 'im sorry', right?

wud u ever forgive people who called u 'binatang peliharaan'?

no wonder its so hard for u to respect me as a human being with feelings as acute as yours. bcz i was never a human to u. i was more a binatang peliharaan hebat.

and seriously, 'binatang peliharaan hebat' sounds more insulting than 'wonderpet'.

all the more reasons to not forgive, right?

whatever. save ur apologies.

screw u.

could it be worse.....?

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Fix You - Coldplay

hmm.

it has been a while since my last post kan.

so many things happen kot since the last post, which was about 8 days ago.

1) khairul's n73 went missing. missing. taken by a pencuri bongok while he's sleeping. the fon dh almost 3 years old dh, n full with lots n lots n lots of sentimental values. jahat kan pencurik tu? well anyway sbb phoning n texting are the only means of communications between us, ptg tu jugak he bought a new phone. LG. RM99. hahaha. dh bese pakai fon canggih, ha, amek la, kembali ke zaman polifonik. skrg he's torn between installing a new skirting on his already-got-a-nice-set-of-skirting car or buy a new phone with cameras n 3G so that we can make video calls n send MMSes like we always did. boleh plak die tanye pendapat i. of course lah i paksa die beli fon. bukannye kalo beli pasang skirting tu die bleh video call n MMS dgn i kan, actually i tak kisah pun kalo die beli fon baru ke tak, cume dpd die spend rm8++ over an unnecessary skirting, baikla beli fon kan. kan. kan.

2) i practically went home every weekend. my mom bawak i pg jumpe our family fren yg jugak an alternative medicine practitioner. n he said my bladder dh swollen twice the original size, n keeps extracting extra juices. so mende tu dh mess with my digestion system yg memg tak berape nk betul ni. kalo dibiarkan, if somehow the extra juices manage to enter my womb, bleh end up jd fibroid. pakcik tu kate la. so pakcik tu bg ubat n suruh pantang. no lemak2, elak mkn mknn yg dh dipanaskan byk2 kali, so that means mamak is out. hihi. so every week kene dtg jumpe pakcik tu untuk tgk progress.

3) workload dh thru the roof. sgt byk. super byk. dn skrg ni i pening mane nk buat dulu. rase kene ade to-do list la kat dlm blog ni. so everytime i waste my precious time visiting my own blog instead of finishing my works, i akan insaf dn terus menyiapkn keje. oh. bolehkah i buat to-do lists kat facebook n farmville???

4) just now, we were hosting a rumah terbuka. byk jugak la mknn, i myself memg tak bleh berhenti. huhu. tak ramai pun guests, sbb kawan2 kitorg ramai yg dh balik negeri masing2 after graduate dn yg tinggal cume kami2 yg sambung blaja jek. huhu. memg tiring gile la. tp dh siap kemas cuci pinggan sume dh, skrg ni pun i tgh thn mata sbb nk harvest aloe vera kat farm ville. jab lg dh fully grown. last time i checked dh 90%. uhuhu. bertahanlah wahai mata.

i miss khairul. so so much. i miss him. truly truly miss him. lagi2 bile dgr die mengadu tak selesa sbb selesema. oh God i miss him.

ok. that's it for now. rasenye kalo sempat esok bleh upload gmbr open house ri ni. tp esok jadual sgt padat. i hv two-weeks-worth of laundry to be laundered n it will take all morning. pkul 2 dh ade last lab, n claim pun tak buat lagi. oh sebenarnye i dh lupe my password untuk website bendahari. takpelah esok boleh ingat balik. skrg i tak larat nk recall. lab abes pkul 5, n i hv research method class 6-9. balik pkul 9 mesti terbongkang atas katil terus tido. dh la ade feeling yg tomorrow or the day after tomorrow akan jadi the day of the month. kesakitannye dh mule terasa. haih.

Tuhan. berilah ku kekuatan.

ps:bile i post dgn title 'hmm' tu maksudnye i dh tatau nk bg post tu tajuk ape. n there will be lots of 'hmm' entries to come. hahaha.

oh mengapa.

kerja sangat banyak.

sangat banyak.

super banyak.

proposal.

presentations.with s.

tutorial.

courseware.

marking lab reports.

and yet perasaan malas tidak mahu pergi.

mengapa.

oh mengapa.

oh mengapa oh mengapa.

pergilah wahai malas.

berilah peluang kepada diri ini untuk menyiapkan kerja yang bertimbun ini.

kenapa la hai.

i have to drive today. all the way to johor. mind u, johor bukan muar johor. tp pontian johor. literally twice the journey from here, serdang.4-hours drive.

n yet i still have trouble sleeping.

smlm mase pg amek elia kat ulu kelang n was stucked in traffic jam all the way dpd jalan ampang sampai la masuk ke mrrII, mate punye la meronta-ronta minta ditutup.

tp bila dah sampai rumah, dah pukul 3.00 pagi pun masih tak bleh tido.

n still terjaga pkul 4.45 out of habit.

so setakat ni baru tido 1 jam 45 minit. blom lagi kire berapa kali terjaga.

maka i telah memasak sup ayam untuk juadah sahur.

harap2 boleh tido selepas subuh, i plan nak gerak pkul 8 pagi. takut la tersengguk2 mase drive. dah la hari ni kereta kat highway confirm banyak gila.

jauhnya perjalanan. doakan i selamat sampai.

amin.

mari mari.

tadi ke ikea. belikan mak teaset:rm39 yg sgt cantik, dan tray plastik rm4.90.

harap mak suka.





esok mahu pulang ke kampung halaman.

driving alone, so hopefully selamat sampai in one piece.

amin.

tak sabar nk tengok baju raya colour ape.



so nak ucapkan


SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN

tears can only do so much.

Kau katakan cinta gunakan akal
Bila aku gunakan
Kau yang menyangkal
Bagaimana nak kekal

Kau katakan cinta gunakan minda
Bila aku gunakan
Kau yang tak percaya
Bagaimana nak bahagia

Maaf mu tak bererti kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji
Terperdaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai

Kaulah bahagia bagiku
Kaulah derita bagiku
Lusamu tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Dan aku cuba sedaya upaya
Telah ku usaha dengan sepenuh jiwa
Bagaimana hendak ku lupa
Bayangan wajahmu
Selalu di depan mata
Harum baumu
Masih dapat ku hidu

Bagaimana ingin aku membencimu
Jikalau setiap hari merindu

Sekiranya derita merinduimu itu
Sebenarnya bahagia

Aku pilih derita

Kaulah bahagia bagiku
Kaulah derita bagiku
Esok lusamu tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Mungkinkah esok atau lusa
Walau biarpun lama
Akan ku biar tiada
Ku tetap kan setia

Entah bila akan tiba
Sampai jua harimu yang sama
Esok seperti semalaman yang tak berubah

Kaulah tanda tanya
Kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena
Dikejut igau semula

Kaulah tanda tanya
Kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena
Dikejut igau semula

Seandainya kau berada di depan mata
Mudah untuk aku berkata-kata
Supaya dapatku melihat seraut wajahmu
Walaupun belum tentu kau mahu bertemu
Apa lagi memandangku

Setelah ku turutkan segala kemahuan
Kau mainkan perasaan
Begitu mudah kau ucapkan
Terimalah saja kenyataan

Aku masih terkilan

Maafmu tak bererti kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji
Terperdaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai

Kaulah bahagia bagiku
Kaulah derita bagiku
Esok lusamu tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Kaulah bahagia bagiku
Kaulah derita bagiku
Esok lusamu tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Jika kau dapat memahami
Hati seorang perindu
Baru kau tahu
Derita hatiku

Jika suatu hari nanti
Giliran kau merindu
Baru kau ingat
Derita diriku

Segala yang berlaku
Bukan kemahuan ku
Apa gunanya bahagia
Jikalau bahagia bersamamu
Hanyalah untuk sementara waktu

Aku pilih derita merinduimu

Maaf mu tak bererti kau mudah sesalu
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji
Terperdaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai

Kaulah bahagia bagiku
Kaulah derita bagiku
Esok lusamu tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Kaulah bahagia bagiku
Kaulah derita bagiku
Esok lusamu tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Tak ku kenal engkau siapa

Derita Merindu - Ahli Fiqir

sampai syurga.

dedicated to mr khairul fadzli; u are one concrete reason to fight and live for.

Ku membenarkan jiwaku untuk mencintaimu

Ku persembahkan hidupku untuk bersama kamu

Dan diriku untuk kamu

Belum pernah kumerasai begitu

Semua itu telah berlalu

Harapanku palsu

Dan mungkin hari yang satu terus ku tertunggu

Di hatiku masih kamu

Belum pernah ku ingin terus memburu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu

Ku inginmu dampingi ku

Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik untuk dirimu

Sampai syurga ku menunggu

Sampai syurga ku cinta mu

Hanya satu

Hanya kamu

Ku membiarkan hatiku untuk merinduimu

Ku menghamparkan sakitku untuk tatapan kamu

Bersamamu harapanku hilang dalam terang yang membutakanku

Dan segala yang ku ada

Ku berikan semua untuk dirimu saja

Ku mahu dirimu bahagia untuk selamanya

Biar sampai syurga aku menunggu cinta darimu

Agar ku sempurna

Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik untuk dirimu

Namun aku tetap aku

Yang terbaik tuk diriku hanya satu


Sampai syurga ku menunggu

Sampai syurga ku cintamu

Hanya kamu

sometimes.

kenape i smbung master:

1. sbb i kalo bleh nk elak mengajar kat skolah sbb i kurg sabar. so untuk mengajar di poli, uni, maktab, its easier if i have the highest qualification. so i sambung master.

2. sbb i tak mungkin posting sehingga bulan 1 tahun depan (interview pun belum kene panggil lagi) so i might as well spend the whole 7 months studying, sbb i tetap akan sambung my master anyway. this way, i tak membazir masa. so i sambung master.

3. i practically spent half my age away from my parents. i masuk boarding school, then matrikulasi, then here i am, UPM. so i was used to doing things my way, doing what i want, whenever i want. n i dont want to lose that freedom, not yet. so i sambung master.

n that is our theme for this entry.

freedom.

bukan i tak syg parents i. i love them more than anything i know. i love them more than i love myself. i love being with them. i suke balik umah. even i jauh dpd umah, i will always find time to balik. even for 2 days, weekend. i sanggup penat2 dlm bus semata2 nk balik umah dn spend some time with my family. i sanggup balik umah penat2 untuk jenguk umah once in a while, semata2 untuk tlg my mom kemas the whole house sbb i know she did not have the time. i appreciate that my parents gave me the car, the money every month, n everything. i am sooo grateful. n i love my parents. i really, really, really do. i cannot imagine my life without them.

but i was so used of doing things my way. buat ape yg i nk buat, bile i nk buat. i bukan jenis yg kuar mlm every night. i am so a homey person. i lebih byk spend mase kat umah kalo i takde ape2 urusan pntg. i pnh tak kuar dpd umah for 3 days, smpi my housemate kate kalo die, die akan rase serabut sbb boring gile dok umah. tp i tak. i suke dok umah.

tp bile i nk kuar once in a while, bile i terase nk mkn kat kfc, bile i terase nk amek angin jalan2 kat luar, bile i terase nk pg jalan dkt shopping complex for nothing, i boleh buat. i tak perlu mintak izin sesiapa. ok, mungkin i akan btau khairul where am i going, dgn sape, tp tu sume i dh terbiasa buat. n he never said no. ok, mungkin kdg2 die kate tak boleh. tp as long as i kuar dgn kwn2 perempuan, kalo ade lelaki pun takpe asalkan bukan berdua, asalkan i tak pergi tempat pelik2, asalkan i tak balik lewat sgt, its ok with him. but the point is, i have the freedom. i was so used with the freedom.

dn bile balik umah, my parents' house i mean, i dun hv the freedom. ok. maybe i tak rase sgt, sbb i memg jarang dok rumah lame for one thing, dn salunye bile i balik, i takde kawan pun nk hang out. so mostly i akan spend my time kat umah je, helping my mom with the house chores n all that. no problem with me. i dah biasa kemas umah. i dh biasa mop lantai. i dh biasa cuci toilet. i dh biasa masak untuk adik2 i kalo my mom tak smpat balik untuk masak lunch (which usually, bile i ade kat umah, my mom memg tak balik lunch), i dh biasa jd despatch 4 my mom, untuk hantar all those dental cases to the clinics.

cume, bile i kat umah, i rase tak bebas. kalo i ade kat umah 2 bulan, 2 bulan la i di umah. literally inside the house. i tak pnh ade kwn2 yg ajak i kuar, bcz the only fren yg salu ajak i kuar bile i kat umah is amal, n she's rarely at home. i memg tak ramai kwn hang out. seriously. cume salunye, 2 bulan i kat umah, 2 bulan lah i tak jumpe khairul. n he gets that, die tau yg i memg susah nk kuar bile i dh kat umah.

dn oleh sbb i jarang kuar umah bile i kat umah, my mom selalunya takde mslh kalo i nk kuar pg mane2. as long as everything kat umah dh siap, umah dh kemas, laundry dh siap, dapur dh lap, my mom takde mslh nk lepaskan i kuar. tp around pontian only. i jrg sgt ke jb. dn i jrg kuar mlm, so usually by 7pm, i dh ade kat umah. dn bile kdg2 i n adik kuar mlm pun, sbb pg beli kfc (take away) n pg pasar mlm. that's it. memg life i sgt dull.

n i tau, the longer i stay at home, the higher the possibility for me to have those misunderstanding moments with my mom. ntahlah. lagi lame i kat umah, lagi sensitif my mom jdnya. everything pun seems wrong to her. mungkin sbb my mom tension dgn kerja, so since im at home, so she sorts of lepaskan kat i. kdg2 bukan marah pun, cume terlepas. i fhm. i know she's tired and all that. i get that. that's why la, i seboleh2 nye cube nk elak those misunderstanding. by staying at home for not too long. long enuf for me to lepaskan all the rindu, tp not so long for those moments to be triggered. i love my mom, i know she'd done her best for the family. for me. i know she'd gave me everything she can. that's why i dont want to hv those moments with her. i guess, daughters are made to be away from their moms. mungkin sbb kite dh besar, dh ade kehendak sendiri, dh ade care berfikir sendiri.

dn untuk amal, ain dn sesiapa yg mengalami masalah ini, bersabarlah. if u cant take it anymore, try to get away from home. tp secara berhemah. secara lembut. secara yg tidak boleh membuatkan mak ayah terluka. kerana kite, the daughters, are still their responsibilities. bcz no matter how old are we, we will always be their child. their children. kerana pd mata diorg, kite tak pernah membesar. kite masih perlu dilindungi. bcz they still cannot trust us, n they never will. bcz they love us. n we love them too. dn kerana syurga itu tetap di bwh tapak kaki ibu.

or u can further ur studies, like i did.

=)

lets talk medicine.

literally, i mean.

presenting.

my very own collection of:

antacid.

nexium.

ni due2 obat sakit perut. yg antacid tu sume org tau la kot, ubat gastrik. kalo org kampung panggil, air kapur.kot. tp jauh lg sedap la dpd air kapur. ahaha. fungsi die, meneutralkan stomach acid. kite tau kan yg dlm perut kite ade acid. untuk tlg hadam mknn. so bile gastrik, acid ni terlebih. so fungsi antacid ni, mcm counteracts la dgn stomach acid tu. yg nexium tu, die kurgkan formation gastric acid. hihi. tu yg dr ckp la.i tak amek farmakologi mahupun medical. =P.

dan ni adalah bekalan ubat untuk 10 hari, yg telah di prescribe oleh dr pagi td semase i ke PK.

been scheduled for an endoscopy after raya.

last capsule of cephalexin monohydrate 250mg

FINALLY!!

random.

1. i rase mcm nk ketuk kepale sendiri sbb lupe bwk lens case n solution pdhl dh siap packing dh.

2. skrg i tgh tgu subuh, sbb kalo i tido skrg (now its 5.26am) alamatnye my subuh akan ke laut.

3. i rase grateful sbb esok (sunday) hari last mkn antibiotic. antibiotic tu rase die sungguh hell. oh bulan puasa. ampun.

4. so far, total hari i kene ganti puasa adalah sbnyk 12 hari. dn hrp no tu takkan meningkat.

5. on monday i nk pg PK sbb my vomitting ni tak stop lg despite antibiotic yg dh abes.

6. i balik pontian hari jumaat. note to amal: bile ko nk buke puasa dgn aku plak babe?

7. i skrg tgh bace harry potter and the goblet of fire for the i-lost-count-already-th time.

8. i ade kelas hari isnin yg i tatau kene present ke tak,tp i tak buat ape2 preparation pun.

9. hari yg i balik johor tu, my boyfren n family akan balik kl (kampung ibu die kat kepong). sgt sakit hati kan.

10. esok i nk tolong my aunt buat biskut arab dn cappuccino.

11. i nk ucap slmt bekerja kpd my besfren, nahar yg akan memulakan kerjanya di ipoh (die org mersing) pd minggu terakhir ramadan (this monday), dgn ucapan, smoga dpt cuti raya.

12. i dh ckp dgn my ex-clasmet, afiq (name glamer die, apek) yg i nk menyibuk kalo die nk buat konvoi raye dgn clasmet2 i yg len. kalo die tak ajak, i kecik ati. note to amal: ko termasuk dlm perancangan ok.

13. i kene buat spek baru. i dh delay lame sbb lens spek tu dh kurg power or my eyes yg dh increase power, i dont know. yg penting, i delay dh lame. skrg die sudah patah. so i btul2 kene buat spek baru.

14. ok dh abes idea. tp belum masuk waktu subuh.

15. mase pencurik bodoh tu curik laptop i, die tak curi my mouse. n my rm40 phillips earphone. pdhl my housemate punye headphone yg lg murah die bleh curi. mungkin sbb headphone tu bentuk lg sophistikated, dn pencurik bodoh tu ingat headphone tu lg mahal.

16. i ade impian nk beli lg satu set buku harry potter, walaupun i dh ade satu set skrg.

17. boyfren i ajak i kawen bulan sepuluh tahun depan.

18. boyfren i ajak gi kursus kawen bulan depan.

19. pcaye atau tidak, i tido dikelilingi dgn balang2 kuih yg tinggal tunggu mase je nk jumpe tuan2 baru. literally. pcaye atau tidak (believe it or not).

20. laptop baru i ni, cume ade 2 je usb port. pdhl i ade modem broadband, mouse dn cooler. blom lg masuk kalo nk cucuk pendrive. oh i miss my old laptop yg dh dicurik oleh pencurik bodoh itu. die ade 4 usb port.i bleh bermaharajalela.

21. ok dh 5.45am. subuh dh masuk.

budak careless.

skrg kat kajang.tolong my aunt buat kuih raye.

planning nk dok sini smpi isnin pagi.

usually i will wear my spec, mls nk pakai lens. skrg ni memg mls nk pakai lens.

tp today my spec dh patah, so i kene pakai lens.

yg carelessnye,

i dh packing solution n case untuk lens, tp i dh tinggal kat atas katil.

bongot.

so tomorrow morning i kene balik serdang amek solution n case.

memg la tak jauh kajang dgn serdang tu.

tp i mls nk buat keje 2 kali.

haih.

bongot skali lagi.

dah mlm ni kene tido dgn lens.

hopefully sok pg bangun tak sakit kepala.

sungguh tidak cool.

now my mood is soo not cool.

why?

bcz i am not fasting.

i am healthy and not period, but i am not fasting.

bcz apparently the doctors think that i am not healthy enough to fast.

all bcz of this vomiting thing.

n they prescribed me with a 7-days course of antibiotics, to be taken every 6 hours.

bcz i have an infection somewhere in my stomach or intestine or something.

but the vomiting didnt stop, which means that i dont have this infection or anything, right?

which also means that the doctors were wrong, n i get to do the fasting, right?

oh, n i was pretty upset when they told me i only have an infection somewhere inside my abdomen, when at times, i literally cant stop vomiting ( like hiccups, u know, when u cant control it n it keep coming n all) n i literally muntah hijau ( i dont know the medical terms for that, the kind lady doctor said that it was my gallbladder juice coming out from my gallbladder to my stomach bcz i keep vomiting but i didnt have anything inside me to be thrown up, i myself never thought that muntah hijau is even existed).

u'd think im mad for expecting something more, bizarre.

but this vomiting thing had been going on for quite sometimes now, n im dying to know what is it inside my stomach that keeps rejecting every form of food i tried to put in.

oh please doctors, please put some cameras inside my stomach already n get this vomiting thing stops!

bcz honestly, men can only stand for so much pain.

n now its 3.53am n i cannot sleep.



but still, its ramadhan, n i have to work harder on my patience n temper, right?

so i will be patient. or i will try, at least.

Tuhan takkan bagi dugaan lebih daripada kemampuan hamba-Nya, right?

Oh God, please help me. U give me the pain, n its U, n only U, who can make it better. Please God, please lend me Your strength to survive this.

Amin.

ps: my mom thinks i might got H1N1, n my dad told me to stay away from mamak's food. my cousin thinks i might have tumor in my gut, my housemate thinks that the symptoms are almost like colon's cancer. n my boyfriend, well, he said that he always knew that there's something really wrong inside me, n he agrees with whatever theories others got, as long as it makes me go to the hospital. im soo surrounded by my own, private doctors. but its ok. they care, n that's what matters. =)

tatau la.

salam.

hari ni right after lab pkul 5, solat asar, withdraw duit, i nk cabut balik johor.

sebenarnye bleh je nk balik tomorrow first thing in the morning, tp dah gatal sgt rindu kat khairul, so nk balik ari ni jugak. walaupun itu bermakna i kene berbuka puasa bersama driver bus di dalam bus di atas lebuh raya highway.

so i think i'll be out for a while (ceh care ckp mcm tiap2 hari post 8 entry je).

mesti sgt sejuk dlm bus nt kan.

estimated time arrival: 11pm. the earliest.

takpe. i dh prepare 1 shawl, 2 sweater, 1 pair socks n jeng jeng jeng! 1 quilt cover which i never intended to use dlm bus nt sbb mcm org tak betul je dlm bus pakai quilt cover?

tak sabar nk balik.

ish. kalo takde lab ni, smlm i dh cabut.

assalamualaikum.