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that awkward eye contact with somebody who used to mean the world to you.
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semester 3.

assalamualaikum.

starting from this week, bermulalah semester 3. sem ni amek 2 subjek dan research study. subjek curriculum dgn dr seth, who also taught me kelas learning models semester lepas. kelas lagi satu, subjek computer, basically develop courseware la, mcm mase final year project undergraduate dulu. dgn dr. fatin, who is also my supervisor. 

mule2 kelas computer dh kene sound dgn dr fatin, kenapa dftr research study tak bincang dgn die dulu. wuuuuuu. mane la tau... sbbnye kite tak dpt emel die feb 17 tu. jadi memang tertinggal. tatau knp tak dpt, tengok kat mailing list ade je my email???? tah la. yg penting ada la kakak tu my coursemate, die tlg forwardkan that email to me. and kite dh reply pon ke dr. fatin. pastu dr. fatin tanye tajuk tesis. wuuuuuuu lagi sbb baru je terfikir2 nak buat misconception, tapi tak bace byk lagi pun jd tak bleh present case argument yg solid pd dr. dr kate org lain dh start keje mase cuti sem ritu, and she's a little bit worried sbb im a married, part time student. insya Allah dr, i'll try my best, comes hell or high water. errr maybe not hell. but u get the idea.

risau jugak sbnrnye sem ni, sbb ade subjek computer dgn research study. dulu mase undergraduate amek mase 2 sem nak complete courseware siap dgn thesis, sem ni kene completekan courseware in 14 weeks pastu kene antar report on the 16th. *pengsan* nasib baik group work, jadi takde la rase berat sgt. memang terpaksa bertungkus lumus bekerja keras la sem ni........................................ nasib baik rase tahun ni mcm kurg sket kerja, maybe sbb pentadbir tau kite sambung belajar kot. kite cume dpt guru tingkatan dgn s/u peperiksaan dalaman. ok la berbanding tahun lepas. yang website tu kite nak buat tatau jek smpi la en. hairuden marah kite. boleh? hehe. kalo tak................. terpaksa la lupekan sekejap hasrat nak pregnant tahun ni. wuuuuu tamo2. tamo tinggal sini sorg2 after hubby balik melaka. 

semoga semuanya berjalan lancar semester ni. semoja berjaya graduate semester depan. semoga usaha memperolehi baby diberkati, dirahmati dan berjaya. hehe. insya Allah. amin.

nak log off. tutup laptop, solat zohor *baru je dgr azan.sedapp suara budak form 1 ni azan zohor.terharu rasa*. pastu nak amek hubby kat mutiara motors, die pg service vios. pastu nak pg starbucks, nak minum mocha frapp! tata!
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alhamdulillah. syukur.


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jakun.

first time blogging dgn phone.hehe.
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random.

assalamualaikum.

semalam kene pergi english literature component course, dekat smk pasir putih. sbb form 3 ada novel baru, around the world in 80 days by jules verne. baru berangan nak bagi students tengok movie tu (yg ade jackie chan tu) rupe2nye movie tu langsung tak same dgn novel, kecuali nama watak. huhu. jadi kena la plan bende lain pulak.

best ke jadi cikgu english? memang best. sbb english is not something that u have t study betol2, mcm maths dgn fizik ke kimia ke kan. u just flip through the notes and tada, ure fully ready to teach. tapi as a science person, its actually a torture. nak bace essay humangaih............ stress!

tapi nak buat mcm mane. tugas. kena la telan jek. nasib baik soh ajar english, kalo soh ajar geografi, im dead! 

semoga yuhaniz terus tabah dalam tugasan seharian. aminn.

p/s: esok result sem 2 keluar. berdebar.
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dinner semalam.

assalamualaikum.

semalam kan rasa nak sgt makan chicken chop. jadi merayu la kat hubby, ajak makan dkt angah d&c kat bandar baru uda, kat sane ade chicken chop sedap cume rm5.

sampai2 je, tutup! frust gila kot. nak nangis rase. hubby yang tau isteri ni dah sebak tak dpt mkn chicken chop pun bwk la kita pg hutan bandar, kat sane pon ade chicken chop rm5. pusing2 punye pusing, tak jumpe!

frust skali lagi. =(

last2 hubby ajak pg jusco taman u. kat sane ade chicken chop sedap jugak, tapi bukan rm5 la. mahal sket. dlm rm11 kot. tapi portion die besar, coleslaw sedap, puas hati la makan. kat food court die. hati dah berbunga,

tapi kannnn sebab dah pukul 9.30, maka coleslaw dah habes.

sedih lagi. =(

tapi dpt la jugak mkn chicken chop takde coleslaw dgn kentang goreng yg dah liat.


punye la beria nak mkn chicken chop smpi ke skudai, last2 makan separuh je. separuh lagi biasalah, masuk dlm perut hubby.










bayangkan kalo pregnant pastu teringin, mcm mane?

wuwuwuwu. jangan mengidam bukan2 ye yuhaniz. jangan menyusahkan hubby. u know he will do anything to give you what u need, what u want kan. 




minggu depan nak jugak pg angah d&c makan chicken chop rm5.
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new beginning.

assalamualaikum.

notice my new title? it's no longer my personal journal. i also changed my address. i unlisted my blog from google search. basically, im hiding my blog. and myself.

no, im not running away. i just want a fresh start. i want to forget everything that has been hurting me all these years. but i love this blog so much and i dont want to delete it. so i figured that, why dont i just continue with this blog but change my address and title? i think people can no longer find me here. that'll make me free to write whatever i feel, whatever i want to write.

starting from tomorrow, i want to blog everyday. or at the very least, 4 entries per week. i need to channel my frustrations towards everything and this is the only means i have. but it has become so public, i just have to change everything. 

so here's for the fresh start. new year (even though its already february T__T). new me.
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first entry of 2012.

well, that should sum up how busy i am. awal tahun cikgu cikgi memang super busy. 



 *ah kau tak busy pon memang malas update blog kan. 




 sekian.
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a thousand years.








i have loved you for a thousand years
i'll love you for a thousand more.
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sometimes i wonder.










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-







and all of the sudden,


tears running down my face.
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off bleeding and stressed.

my bleeding is getting worse. it has been 11 months since i got married and my period is still not regular.

and it makes me even more stressed out. oh wait, stressed makes me bleeds more. damn.

its heavy. its making me sick. its making me stressed.







what is wrong with me???





Ya Allah! Tuhan manusia, yang menghilangkan kesusahan, sembuhkanlah, Engkaulah yang menyembuhkan. Tidak ada yang menyembuhkan selain Engkau, penyembuhan yang tiada meninggalkan sebarang penyakit.
Amin.
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wordless wednesday.




pic courtesy of google

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freaky friday.
















ku bawa hati jauh berlari..
tak bermaksud diri mu aku benci...
















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scared.

if u think a problem is a problem then it'll become a problem. if u think a problem is a challenge, ure gonna figure out some ways to overcome it.

that's what my lecturer said the other day and it got me thinking.

with all the problems that are coming continuously towards me one after another, all i want to do is just to curl up in my bed, cry it all out and let the tears wash them away. but when i think back, all these problems are caused by me. my improper planning. my ignorance. if only i plan, i think, i care, these things will not turn out to be like this.

but its all i can do. its all we can do. saying if-onlys. because that's what we do when we want to comfort ourselves. when we want to believe that somehow, we are not the one to blame, when indeed, it's all on us.

oh my. how i wish i do things differently.

and now im stuck here, trying to figure out ways to solve everything, when i actually haven't find any.

ya Allah, help me.....im scared.....
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.













saya risau.




















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torn.

hari ni ada taklimat pukul 2.30 petang.

ada kelas pukul 4.00 petang.


hari khamis ada meeting audit pukul 2.00 petang.

ada kelas pukul 4.00 petang.


kalau pasir gudang tak jem memang la cepat boleh sampai.

tapi dekat highway tebrau je boleh stuck sampai 15 minit.







minggu pertama dah lewat pg kelas.

T_________T
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ganjil?

“
-Gadis melayu berniqab, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu menutup aurat sepenuhnya, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu melabuhkan tudung menutupi dada mereka, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu mengenakan pakaian longgar dan besar, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu malu untuk keluar bersama bukan mahram, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu pakai stoking kaki ke mana-mana walau mandi bersama kawan-kawan di laut, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu pakai stoking tangan walau dah mengenakan t-shirt lengan panjang, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu meninggalkan orang yang sedang gosip dan mengata orang lain walaupun yang sedang mengata itu kawan baiknya, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu tidak mengenakan mekap berlebihan, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu tidak memakai perfume kecuali sekadar sangat sedikit dan tidak terhidu orang lain, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu tak ‘couple’ sebelum nikah, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu tak materialistik dan memilih kehidupan untuk taat kepada agama, ganjil?
-Gadis melayu ganjil?

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w: “Islam bermula sebagai sesuatu yang dianggap asing dan ganjil. Dan ia akan kembali sebagaimana permulaannya, dianggap asing dan ganjil. Maka, beruntunglah orang-orang yang ganjil”
(H.R. Muslim)
”

SOURCE
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boring.

new semester started yesterday. so was my first class. epistemology, social and ethical issues in science and technology. sounds scary? it is more to BOOORINNGGG actually. can u imagine enduring 3 hours of philosophical lectures? a brief explanation and discussion of how one scientifc concept is found or invented and how does it evolves? yes i know, boring. i was yawning for 200 times (okay that, im exaggerating ^^ but you get the idea) for that long 3 hours. can't wait to get past epistemology to go to the social applications and ethical issues. much more fun, i hope.

im taking 10 credit hours this sem, or 3 subjects. that boring subject i told you just now, another theoritical subject today (learning theory in physics) and statistics. i really look forward to statistics class on thursday. for today, i just pray hard that it wont get any more boring than yesterday's class. huhu.

got english class with 3e later. really need the emotional strength and patience. T____T


random: did you notice my style of writing changed dramatically (nak jugak guna drama) since my first entry? now i am more serious, no fun, depressed, stressed, dull, that sort of things. i used to be bubbly, you know. fresh, energetic, u can see from my style of writing. now im still a fresh, not so energetic (huahuahua) and bubbly person, but im too stressed to be bubbly all the time. hehe.
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tentang syurga

syurga isteri di bawah tapak kaki suami.


betul ke?


saya rasa tak.


pada saya,


syurga isteri adalah suami.





kerana bila saya tengok dia tersenyum, saya bahagia.

kerana bila saya lihat dia berjaya, saya bangga.

because i feel safe when im with him.





kerana dia adalah kebahagiaan saya.

kerana dia adalah kebanggaan saya.



dan kerana dia adalah syurga saya.
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