now its 3 am in the morning, and i hv to wake up early tomorrow (technically its today but whatever i dun care) bcz dr fauzi is fetching me at 10 o'clock. but i still cant sleep. yeah i know i hv a lot of trouble sleeping these days, but tonight, somehow its more troubling, u know.
bcz im alone tonight. alone in this home. n bcz i am a penakut person to an excruciating level, even the sound of a needle dropped on to the floor scares me. plus its deepavali n somehow my neighbours manage to feel the need of firing firecrackers at 3o'clock in the morning n clearly did not have the courtesy to let people sleep soundly on their bed. plus it sounds like its raining heavily outside. plus a truck driver decided to push his honk button at this moment. i am so scared, i couldnt even close my eyes. every sound registered, u know, n tiny, tiny little sound sounds like a bomb was dropped somewhere outside my house. yes i know i am 22 now n will become 23 in less than a year, n 23 is such an age where i start working n half way thru my masters n all, but im still as penakut as i was 20 years ago. my mother said when i was 2, i was so scared of people, that i cried even when my neighbour back then was looking at me. he was just looking for heaven sake, n i was in my mom's arms, n i cried. pathetic, was i? ha. ha. i dun care. i was a penakut kid, i am a penakut adult (am i matured enuf to legally become an adult now? i dunno. u decide) n i am not ashamed to admit that. what is wrong with being penakut? i am not a coward, im just afraid of many many things. haha.
so im spending my time playing cafe world, an application in facebook, while waiting for grey's anatomy to finish downloading. oh did u know that george died? he was dragged by a bus for like five miles or something, after pushing a woman out of the way. a stranger woman. how many of us will do that? i mean, im not sure i will. a total stranger. n i like george. n i missed him on the show. n now izzie has been fired. but i wont stop watching anyway. bcz i still cant get enough of derek, and his mcdreamy thing. haha.
tomorrow i'll be off to sg besar. somewhere between tg karang n tg malim, i think. i dont know. but the journey will take about 2 hours, i think. the treatment will take place on monday afternoon, actually, but dr fauzi needs us to be there in the morning to set up 3 computer labs, n we have to pack the goodie bags for all the subjects, that is to say, form 2 students in SMK Sg Besar who will be involved in this study. so there's a lot of work to be done, n that's why we are leaving tomorrow. n we will spend the night at ellie's house. ellie is one of the 5 masters students who are involved in this study. the others, well, there's me, of course, aifaa, izzah, n fazliana, or mek na, dr fauzi's RA, zaimah, n dr fauzi.
i think i need to lay down now. hope to get some sleep before tomorrow.
till then.
bcz im alone tonight. alone in this home. n bcz i am a penakut person to an excruciating level, even the sound of a needle dropped on to the floor scares me. plus its deepavali n somehow my neighbours manage to feel the need of firing firecrackers at 3o'clock in the morning n clearly did not have the courtesy to let people sleep soundly on their bed. plus it sounds like its raining heavily outside. plus a truck driver decided to push his honk button at this moment. i am so scared, i couldnt even close my eyes. every sound registered, u know, n tiny, tiny little sound sounds like a bomb was dropped somewhere outside my house. yes i know i am 22 now n will become 23 in less than a year, n 23 is such an age where i start working n half way thru my masters n all, but im still as penakut as i was 20 years ago. my mother said when i was 2, i was so scared of people, that i cried even when my neighbour back then was looking at me. he was just looking for heaven sake, n i was in my mom's arms, n i cried. pathetic, was i? ha. ha. i dun care. i was a penakut kid, i am a penakut adult (am i matured enuf to legally become an adult now? i dunno. u decide) n i am not ashamed to admit that. what is wrong with being penakut? i am not a coward, im just afraid of many many things. haha.
so im spending my time playing cafe world, an application in facebook, while waiting for grey's anatomy to finish downloading. oh did u know that george died? he was dragged by a bus for like five miles or something, after pushing a woman out of the way. a stranger woman. how many of us will do that? i mean, im not sure i will. a total stranger. n i like george. n i missed him on the show. n now izzie has been fired. but i wont stop watching anyway. bcz i still cant get enough of derek, and his mcdreamy thing. haha.
tomorrow i'll be off to sg besar. somewhere between tg karang n tg malim, i think. i dont know. but the journey will take about 2 hours, i think. the treatment will take place on monday afternoon, actually, but dr fauzi needs us to be there in the morning to set up 3 computer labs, n we have to pack the goodie bags for all the subjects, that is to say, form 2 students in SMK Sg Besar who will be involved in this study. so there's a lot of work to be done, n that's why we are leaving tomorrow. n we will spend the night at ellie's house. ellie is one of the 5 masters students who are involved in this study. the others, well, there's me, of course, aifaa, izzah, n fazliana, or mek na, dr fauzi's RA, zaimah, n dr fauzi.
i think i need to lay down now. hope to get some sleep before tomorrow.
till then.