pening lagi.

mak andam+pelamin at my place: rm2300
mak andam+pelamin at his place: rm1700
kad jemputan (my place and his place): rm1688
photographer: rm2400


total (excluding all other details): rm8088

huhu. tu tak termasuk jamuan, hantaran, mas kahwin, doorgifts, ape2 bende kecik2 lagi. pening weh pening!


kesimpulan: nak kawen? kumpul duit dpd sem 1 kat uni.





random: nak tau kenape kad jemputan smpi rm1700? sbb my dad nak 1000 keping. SERIBU KEPING. his dad nak 750 keping. so total 1750 keping. kalo sekeping rm0.90? darab la sendiri. so kalo u all nak makan free sile la dtg my house yek. meh2 tinggal address kat komen kalo nak kad jemputan.

Disaat kamu ingin melepaskan seseorang
ingatlah pada saat kamu ingin mendapatkannya



Disaat kamu mulai tidak mencintainya
ingatlah saat pertama kamu jatuh cinta padanya



Disaat kamu mulai bosan dengannya
ingatlah selalu saat terindah bersamanya



Disaat kamu ingin menduakannya
bayangkan jika dia selalu setia



Saat kamu ingin membohonginya
ingatlah disaat dia jujur padamu



Maka kamu akan merasakan arti dia untukmu
Jangan sampai disaat dia sudah tidak disisimu,
Kamu baru menyadari semua arti dirinya untukmu




Yang indah hanya sementara
Yang abadi adalah kenangan
Yang ikhlas hanya dari hati
Yang tulus hanya dari sanubari



Tidak mudah mencari yang hilang
Tidak mudah mengejar impian



Namun yg lebih susah mempertahankan yg ada
Karena walaupun tergenggam bisa terlepas juga
Ingatlah pada pepatah, "Jika kamu tidak memiliki apa yang kamu sukai, maka sukailah apa yang kamu miliki saat ini"



Belajar menerima apa adanya dan berpikir positif
Hidup bagaikan mimpi, seindah apapun,
begitu bangun semuanya sirna tak berbekas
Rumah mewah bagai istana, harta benda yang tak terhitung, kedudukan, dan jabatan yg luar biasa, namun..



Ketika nafas terakhir tiba, sebatang jarum pun tak bisa dibawa pergi
Sehelai benang pun tak bisa dimiliki
Apalagi yang mau diperebutkan
Apalagi yang mau disombongkan



Maka jalanilah hidup ini dengan keinsafan nurani
Jangan terlalu perhitungan
Jangan hanya mau menang sendiri
Jangan suka sakiti sesama apalagi terhadap mereka yang berjasa bagi kita
Belajarlah tiada hari tanpa kasih
Selalu berlapang dada dan mengalah
Hidup ceria, bebas leluasa



Tak ada yang tak bisa di ikhlaskan
Tak ada sakit hati yang tak bisa dimaafkan
Tak ada dendam yang tak bisa terhapus.




Taken from here

circles of my life.

CIRCLE ONE:THE OUTSIDE
1. What's your name: Yuhaniz Anuar
2. How tall are you: 157 cm, i think.
3. What color are your eyes: Kinda brown. Or black. I dont know.
4. What color is your hair: Black
5. Are you Male or Female: Female
6. What is your best feature (physically): I would say..none.
7. What's your shoe size: Sometimes it's 7, sometimes it's 8 (ok shut up now i know its huge)
8. Glasses, yes or no: Yes
9. Did you ever have braces: Never. My mom said its ok to wear braces, if and only if your teeth situation is either making you sick, or so embarrassed you cannot go anywhere without covering your mouth with something. Its like mengubah kejadian Tuhan, she said. And she works as the person you will go to if you want to repair your teeth, so its kinda saying something.
10. On a typical day you are wearing: Tshirt and jeans.
11. When you go to bed you're wearing: Pyjamas.
12. Work out/exercise about how often: Not often. haha.

CIRCLE TWO: MUSIC
1. Name five of your favorite bands: Paramore (Hayley Williams rawks!), Muse, MCR (oh they're like super cool), and..... that's all, i think.
2. Name five of your favorite singers: Hayley Williams, Mariah Carey, Kelly Clarkson, Shakira, Rihanna, and the list goes on.
3. Name three songs you are currently playing non-stop: The Only Exception-Paramore, Solo-Iyaz, Hati Yang Kau Sakiti-Rossa
4. Name one song (give lyrics) that best describes your life right now: Airplanes - B.O.B
6. When you're driving, what are the preset stations on your radio: Fly.Fm. If there is no signal, I play my cds.
7. What's the last CD you bought: I never bought any. I download and burn them myself.
8. Name one song/band/singer you're embarrassed to like but do: Justin Bieber. He's a baby, but all his songs are pretty cool. huhu.
9. If you could only attend one concert ever again, it would be: I hate concerts. I cant stand to be in crowded places, they make my head spins like mad. So I will not be attending any.
10. Name one band/singer you absolutely can't stand: Oh there's a long list of that, you know.

CIRCLE THREE: MOVIES/TELEVISION
1. Name your favorite actor: George Clooney. Seriously.
2. Name your favorite actress: Jessica Alba. She is smoking hot!
3. Name your favorite television show right now: Grey's Anatomy, obviously.
4. Name five really cool movies you've recently seen: I think i watched really crappy movies these days, because i cant remember any except IpMan.
5. Your favorite cancelled television show: None.
6. Name one movie you wish you hadn't wasted time/money on recently: Lagenda Budak Setan.
7. You would never watch a movie with: Anyone from the opposite gender except for him and my little brother.
8. Favorite candy/food to watch movies with: I dont like popcorn. It makes me thirsty. Plus munching sounds annoy me a lot.
9. Three favorite tv channels: 8TV, StarWorld, National Geographic, AXN, and many many more.
10. Favorite reality show: America's Next Top Model, So You Think You Can Dance
11. Favorite character on a reality show: Miss J in America's Next Top Model and Cat Deeley from So You Think You Can Dance.

CIRCLE FOUR: WORD ASSOCIATION(Write the first word/thing/person that comes into your head when you read this word:)
1. Coffee: Iced Caramel Latte from Dunkin Donut.
2. Dog: UUUGGGGHHHH!
3. Slut: err..no one.
4. Candy: Ferrero Rocher.
5. Pole: Golf?
6. Ocean: Blue.
7. Brave: Null.
8. Loving: Khairul Fadzli.
9. Cookie: No Nut Cookies by Famous Amos.
10. Death: is coming.
11. Life: is good, I guess.
12. Child: UUUGGGGHHH! and you will say the same if you are a teacher.

CIRCLE FIVE: WHICH WOULD YOU PREFER:(italic/bold the one you prefer)
1. Ten guilty men go free OR One innocent man goes to jail for life
2. Eaten by a lion OR Eaten by thousands of small insects - NEITHER.
3. A life without love OR A life with love and heartache - A life with him. If it comes with heartaches, then be it.
4. Skydiving from a plane OR Bungee jumping off a bridge - Something safer, please?
5. No television OR No music - No laptop with internet connection. The rest i can live without.
6. No more pizza, ever OR No more chocolate
7. A trip to Europe OR A trip to Hawaii -A trip to all around the world. FOC!
8. An hour with your future soul mate OR An hour with a lost loved one so i can tell them how deeply sorry i am for hurting their hearts.
9. No longer being able to cry OR No longer being able to feel the need to cry - I am a cry baby. Deal with it.

10. Sex without love OR Love without sex - SEX WITH LOVE
11. Loving someone who doesn't love you OR Being loved by someone you don't love - Both are going to hurt like hell, so it doesnt matter which one i choose.

CIRCLE SIX: THE LOVE LIFE
1. Are you currently in a relationship: Yep.
2. Are you currently looking/interested in someone: Yes of course.
5. How many times have you been "in love": Like really in love: once. But there are a few times when i thought i was in love.
6. Looking back, how do you feel about that person(s) now: Ive learnt a lot from them. About when to say no, about not giving what shouldnt be given, about speaking up your heart and mind, well, like I said, a lot. So i would like to thank them for all of those lessons. And i dont hate them. I dont do hate. Hate is not my thing. I just dont care for them anymore.
7. Name three things (physically) you look for in someone: Its a long list you know. But in the end, when you are in love, like really in love with that someone, you will just accept him the way he is, all those requirements wont matter anymore.
8. Name three things (mentally/emotionally) you look for in someone: Ive answered that.
9. Biggest turn offs include: Shouting at me. I dont care if I was wrong or I was right, I just cant stand people raising up their voices to me. If I was wrong, tell me nicely. Im a good listener, you know.
10. Your ideal date would be: Him.
11. You want to get married, where, when, how: Of course I do want to get married, sometime in november, in my own house, by my own dad.
12. Does anyone have feelings for you right now that you don't return: Yes. At least I hope he does.

CIRCLE SEVEN: THE FRIENDS(of your friends, who would you say is:)
1. The one you immediately go to with a problem: Nurain Abdul Rahman.
2. The most rational: Khairul Fadzli.
3. The funniest: Khairul Fadzli.
4. The one you spend the most time on the phone with: Khairul Fadzli.
5. The craziest (but in a good way): Nur Ili Syazwani Mohd Yazid.
6. The most honest: Nurain Abdul Rahman.
7. The purest: Wan Norhayati W Mohd Sobri.
8. The smartest: Nurul Hanna Ismail and Farini Salim.
9. The most athletic: Nurul Hanna Ismail. At least she used to be. I dont know about now.
10. The most compassionate: Nur Nadiah Zainal Abidin.
11. The one most likely to get thrown in jail and why: Nur Ili Syazwani Mohd Yazid and Nur Nazra Zakaria. Kerana mereka sangat gila.
12. The last one that said "I love you": Khairul Fadzli.

.

after all these years we have been together, you still give me butterflies in my tummy. i am still nervous when you are around. you still make my heart beats a little bit faster. and my love for you grows even stronger. i love you, and in the end, it is all that matters.


















happy anniversary, sayang.

my weekend.

hi guys.

on monday yati came out with a suggestion of going to kota tinggi to buy some baju kurung. i at first kinda hesitated to agree, because i thought the kem kepimpinan was going to be held last week. then when i found out that that camp will be held this week instead, i gave her a yes and off we, by we i mean me, liza, kak na (yati's sister) and yati, went to kota tinggi. bertolak dpd umah around 8am, because we were waiting for kak na to arrive.

sampai kota dlm pkul 9 lebih kot, tgk banyak gile weh baju kurung!!! but various shops offer you various range of prices la kan, so we went to shop after shop surveying for cheaper prices and prettier clothes, and we ended up shopping at the first shop we went when we first arrived. funny how that happened, right? i usually surveyed shop after shop to buy shoes, especially, and i always ended up in the first shop i entered. khairul said its a waste of time (sbb die yang selalu jadi mangsa round 1 midvalley or jusco tebrau nak cari my shoes kan ahahaha), why dont i just buy the shoes that i like the first time i saw them, right? but i think he should speak for himself. sbb die lagi cerewet kalo nak beli brg, abes satu shopping complex nak tawaf, bile i dah gave up buat muka paling penat dlm dunia and die pon tak sampai hati tgk muka i penat (hihi this is one of many2 reasons why i love him, he cant bear to see my sulking, tired face. he's kinda sweet that way)baru la die stop and go straight to that particular shop. hihi. girl power weh!

anyway we went round and round the small town, and we ended up buying some 2 pairs of baju kurung for each of us, and everyone except me bought that baju na o mei (the dress is beautiful, but im not the type of person who wears skirt, or skirt-like-cloth, except for baju kurung, just so u know). im pretty satisfied with the outcomes, tapi walaupun ade banyak gile kot pilihan, i still find it difficult to find the ones that i like. huhu. takpelah next time buleh pegi lagi, its not that far from home, about 40km from pasir gudang.

and on sunday, i went to melaka to visit his new workplace. oh did i tell u that he quits his job at putrajaya already? he got this offer from utem to be a tutor at faculty of manufacturing eng, and because he loves engineering so much (but he dont want to be an engineer, plus he hates that ptd job spec), he accepts the offer and moved to melaka. so melaka will be my second state after johor la after this, looks like im going to stay there for the rest of my life. hihi. anyway melaka is one interesting state, and yeah, i think im going to like it there. hihi.

and my favourite pic of the day.








that's all, i think. going to melaka again this sunday, insya Allah, im pretty excited when he is closer to me, distance wise. and will be going to singapore for a social visit organized by my school, on 17th july. cant wait to jalan2 with all my colleagues!


adios!

i love u.











*blushblush*

mess.

im a mess. i screwed up. but quitting is out of the question. i am already in way too deep to turn back and undo everything. and alone. im in this alone. God please, i need strength.

pic taken from here

kenape saya (tak)suka jadi anak sulung.

1. dulu mase kecik2, selalu kene suruh jaga adik2. cebuk lah, buat susu lah. paling annoying bile kena buai adik sampai tido. lagi2 buai si kumai. die dah la kene tengok muke orang kalo nak tido. kalo takde orang or buaian stop mesti die terjaga. bengang jek.

2. kene kemas rumah. jemur baju. lipat baju. jaga adik. basuh pinggan. kemas dapur.

3. kalo balik kampung tak bleh main dgn sepupu sebab kene jaga adik sbb mak sibuk masak kat dapur.

4. kalo adik2 gaduh mesti kita yang kene marah dulu.

5. result peksa mesti perfect. PERFECT. kalo tak dapat keputusan bagus mesti kene lecture dengan ayah.



kenapa saya suka jadi anak sulung?

1. semua mesti firsthand. baju. mainan. mukadam. quran. buku teks. adik2 dpt hand-me-downs.

2. kereta pun dpt firsthand.

3. laptop dapat yang paling canggih.

4. selalu kena teman mak pg shopping maka pasti akan mendapat habuan.

5. sbb jadi anak first yang nak kawen so bila nak tunang je pun mak renovate rumah sampai rm30k. huahuahua.

6. ada kuasa veto untuk suruh semua orang dlm rumah buat keje, terutama a'ad dengan icah. hahaha. best.




kesimpulannya: jadi anak sulung memang best.

Diari Seorang Isteri.

Aduh...sakitnyer. ..isk.... . aduuh....Bang sakit nye tak tahan saya" keluh Nisa pada suaminya Zakri.

"Apelah awak nie....lama sangat nak bersalin dah berjam-jam dah tak keluar-keluar juga. Penat dah saya tunggu. Nih mesti ader benda yang tak elok awak buat , itu lah sebab lambat keluar budak tu banyak dosa la tu" rungut Zakri pd Nisa.

Nisa hanya diam dan menahan sakit nak beranak, hampir 1 jam Nisa dalam bilik bersalin tapi baby tak keluar juga. Sebak hati Nisa bila Zakri berkata begitu. Sejak mengandung ada sahaja yang tidak kena dihati Zakri terhadapnya. Seakan-akan membenci Nisa dan anak yang dikandungnya. Jururawat datang memeriksa dan kemudian bergegas memanggil Doktor Johari. Doktor Johari (Doktor Peribadi) datang dan bergegas menyediakan keperluan menyambut kelahiran. Nisa hanya mendiamkan diri menahan sakit dan air mata meleleh panas dipipi bukan disebabkan takut atau sakit tapi rungutan Zakri tadi. Doktor Johari menyuruh Nisa meneran ...."Come on Nisa u can do it...once more...." Kata ransang Doktor Johari itu membuatkan Nisa bertenaga dan sekali teran sahaja kepala baby sudah keluar..."Good mummy" kata Doktor Johari selepas menyambut baby yang keluar itu.

Tiba-tiba Nisa terasa sakit lagi dan Nisa meneran untuk kali kedua dan keluar seorang lagi baby, kembar rupanya. "Nisa u got twin, boy and girl, putih macam mummy dia" kata Doktor Johari memuji Nisa. "Tahniah Zakri,it's a twin" Doktor Johari mengucapkan tahniah kepada Zakri. Zakri hanya mendiamkan diri setelah menyaksikan kelahiran anak pertamanya, kembar pulak. Memang Doktor Johari itu menyuruhnya melihat bagaimana keadaan kelahiran anaknya. Baby boy dan girl Nisa namakan Mohammad Danial dan Nur Dania.Nisa berasa lega... tapi Nisa masih lagi teringat kata-kata Zakri padanya sebentar tadi. Terlalu banyak kata-kata yang membuat Nisa selalu kecil hati . Tapi Nisa tahankan sahaja. Nisa tahu kalau Nisa mengadu pada emak, Nisa akan dimarahi semula. Jadi Nisa hanya diam dan memendam rasa. Danial dan Dania diletakkan di nursery di Hospital itu sementara menanti Nisa berehat kemudian dapatlah Nisa menyusukan Danial dan Dania. Comel sungguh kembar Nisa. Nisa termenung dan otak fikirannya menerbang kembali detik-detik semasa Nisa mengandungkan kandungannya, Zakri selalu memarahi Nisa, ada sahaja yang tidak kena. Kata Nisa yang bukan-bukan, gila, ada sahaja tuduhan yang tidak masuk akal semuanya dihamburkan pada Nisa. Tak sanggup Nisa hadapi semua itu tapi demi kandungannya, Nisa kuatkan semangat dan pendirian Nisa.

Ingat lagi waktu Nisa mula mengandung Zakri tak percaya Nisa mengandung anak dia, dua kali dia membuat pemeriksaan Antenatal samada Nisa mengandung.Zakri ragu anak dalam kandungan Nisa. Dia tak boleh terima baru tiga bulan kahwin dah mengandung.. .Nisa dah 2 bulan...Nisa cuma kosong selama sebulan selepas berkahwin. Nisa tak tau nak cakap apa.

Nisa balik rumah dalam kesedihan. Pada mulanya Nisa gembira bila mengandung tapi sebaliknya pula yg terjadi. Perasaan hati Nisa bangga Nisa dapat memberi zuriat kepada Zakri. Tapi apa yang Nisa dapat hanyalah tuduhan yang tak pernah terlintas di otak jemala Nisa. "Kenapa abang berlainan sekarang ni, tak macam dulu pelembut, suka berjenaka, ni tak asyik nak cari salah Nisa sahaja. Nape Bang?"soal Nisa pada Zakri . "Kaulah penyebabnya. Tak yah nak tunjuk baik plak" Zakri menempelak Nisa "Jantan mana yang kau layan kat opis kau tu" sergah Zakri lagi. "Abg syak Nisa ngan lelaki lain ke? Kenapa Abg syak yg bukan-bukan, Nisakan isteri Abang yang sah tak kanNisa nak buat jahat ngan orang lain pulak Bang"? terang Nisa pada Zakri. "ALLAH dah bagi kita rezeki awal,tak baik cakap cam tu. Itu semua kehendak ALLAH" Nisa senyum dan menghampiri sambil memeluk badan suaminya tetapi Zakri meleraikan pelukan Nisa dengan kasar sehingga Nisa hampir tersungkur. Nisa menangis dan sedih. Zakri buat tak tahu sahaja. Deraian airmata Nisa semakin laju. Nisa hanya mampu menangis. Terasa dada .Nisa sakit menahan semua tohmahan dari Zakri, suaminya yang sah. "Woi, benda-benda tu bole terjadilah Nisa, kawan baik ngan bini sendiri, suami sendiri, bapak ngan anak, hah emak ngan menantu pun bole jadi tau apatah lagi macam kau nie, tau tak. Tu dulu kawan kau lama tu yang satu opis ngan kau tu, Farid, bukan main baik lagi budak tu" marah Zakri. "Entah-entah keturunan kau, darah daging kau pun tak senonoh.... heee teruk. Nasib aku la dapat bini cam engkau ni"kutuk Zakri lagi pada Nisa. "Bawa mengucap Bang, jangan tuduh saya yang bukan-bukan saya bukan perempuan tak tentu arah walaupun saya menumpang keluarga ni , saya bukan jenis macam tu saya tau akan halal haram, hukum hakam agama. "Walaupun saya tak tau asal usul keluarga kandung saya, saya bersyukur dan berterima kasih pada emak kerana jaga saya dari kecil dah macam darah daging saya sendiri" kata Nisa pada Zakri. "Tapi Abang tak boleh hina keluarga kandung saya walaupun saya tak pernah tengok muka ayah dan mak kandung saya. Mereka lahirkan saya kedunia,"ucap Nisa sambil menangis.

Semenjak kejadian itu Nisa terpaksa mengikut Zakri ke tempat kerjanya apabila habis waktu kerja. Nisa berehat di Surau tempat Zakri bekerja. Zakri bekerja di salah sebuah Pusat membeli belah dan kerjanya mengikut shif.Kalau Zakri shif malam terpaksalah Nisa menunggu Zakri sehingga pukul 10.30 malam - 11.30 malam sehingga habis Pusat membeli belah itu tamat waktu perniagaannya. Nisa terpaksa berbohong pada emak dan keluarga lain dengan mengatakan Nisa buat overtime di pejabat. Nisa terpaksa berbuat demikian kerana tidak mahu dikata-kata dan dituduh lagi. Dengan keadaan perut semakin membesar Nisa gagahkan juga. Tetapi kadangkala Zakri tidak menjemput Nisa di tempat kerja terpaksalah Nisa menaiki bas. Begitulah Nisa sehinggalah Nisa hampir pada waktu bersalin Nisa. Kalau diminta jemput...macam- macam kata kesat dilemparkan pada Nisa, perempuan tak tau berdikarilah, berlagak senang lah, lagak kaya lah. Pernah suatu hari Nisa naik marah kerana Zakri jemput Nisa lambat sampai sakit pinggang Nisa menunggunya. Nisa menangis. Zakri tiba-tiba naik angin dan cakap perangai Nisa macam firaun la, perempuan tak sedar dirilah, tak layak jadi isterilah, menyusahkan macam-macam kata nista dilemparkan pada Nisa.

Nisa tambah sedih mengenangkan diri Nisa, ngadu kat emak takut dimarahi pula...bila Nisa balik ke rumah, mereka berdua akan berlakun yang mereka tidak bergaduh...Nisa sedaya upaya tidak mahu menunjukkan yang masalah melanda perkahwinannya. Kasihan Nisa...dalam keadaan yang begitu Nisa masih mampu bertahan, masih kuat lagi emosinya. Satu hari Zakri dalam keadaan marah telah menarik rambut Nisa dan menghantukkan kepala Nisa ke dinding...Nisa hanya mampu menangis dan menanggung kesakitan gara-gara Nisa nak pergi ke rumah Mak Usu Nisa yang ingin mengahwinkan anaknya di Tanjung Karang. Emak Nisa dah seminggu pergi ke sana untuk menolong. Hari dah mula petang jadi Nisa mendesak agar bertolak cepat kerana kalau hari malam nanti bahaya , "Kita nak jalan jauh ni Bang. Biarlah kita pergi awal sikit bolehlah tolong apa yang patut. Masa nilah kita nak membalas pertolongan mereka, ingat tak masa kita kahwin mereka bekerja keras kan "kata Nisa pada Zakri. Zakri ketika itu sedang berehat menonton. "Bang dengar tak ni, lagi pun hari dah mula gelap,takut plak hujan nanti"desak Nisa lagi. Tiba-tiba Zakri bangun dan mukanya bengis memandang Nisa "Kau tahu aku penatkan, tak boleh tunggu ker,suka hati aku lah nak pegi malam ke siang ke tak pegi langsung ker"marah Zakri. "Itu Nisa tau, Abang dah berehat dari pagi tadi Bang masih penat lagi, Nisa cuma nak ingatkan Abang aja"Nisa memberitahu Zakri. Zakri datang pada Nisa dan direntapnya rambut Nisa dan di hantukkannya kepala Nisa kedinding.

Nisa tak dapat buat apa. YA ALLAH sanggup Zakri berbuat demikian...terasa kebas kepala Nisa dan mula membengkak. Pening kepala Nisa dibuatnya. "YA ALLAH kau kuatkan iman aku YA ALLAH, lindungilah aku dan kandungan aku dari bahaya YA ALLAH" doa Nisa dalam hatinya. Nisa memencilkan diri Nisa disudut dinding dan menangis.Zakri kemudian duduk diam. Nisa rasa kepala Nisa macam nak pecah. Kebas masih lagi dan embengkak.. .berdenyut2. .."Bang, Nisa minta maaf jika Nisa membuat Abang marah" Nisa memohon maaf pada Zakri sambil teresak-esak.

Treet,Treet, Treet, Treet....bunyi handphone Zakri. "Sapa plak nie sebok je....."Rungut Zakri yang tengah sibuk berborak dengan kawan-kawan di salah sebuah caf?. "Hoi, Encik Zakri, bini ko kat wad tak gi jengok ke, apa punya laki ko nie? sindir Azlan, kawan pejabat Zakri. "Alah, dia sihat je kat wad tu, makan tanggung berak cangkung, ha,ha,ha"gelak Zakri dan kawan-kawan lain. Azlan cuma berdiam diri. "Senangnya hidup Zakri nie tak ader risau langsung pasal bini dia"cetus hati Azlan. "Akulah kalau bini aku masuk wad bersalin aku sentiasa dok sebelah dia tau...mereka perlukan kita masa tu...nyawa mereka dihujung tanduk semata-mata nak melahirkan zuriat yang dari darah daging engkau tau, cuba fikir sikit" Azlan mengingatkan Zakri. "Iyelah, Lan, lagipun Nisa dah bersalin, selamat dah, sekarang tengah berehat laaa, apa aku nak risau lagi" jawab Zakri selamba. "Suka hati kau lah, tapi kalau ader apa-apa nanti kau jangan menyesal Zakri, sesal tak sudah nanti" kata Azlan lagi. Treet, Treet, Treet....bunyi handphone Zakri. "Hello Zakri speaking" jawab Zakri. "Hello Zakri, Doktor Johari sini, ade masalahlah Zakri, pasal Nisa, datang segera ke hospital ye Zakri, Nisa tidak sedarkan diri........ ."panggilan kecemasan dari Doktor Johari "Iye ke, teruk ke dia Johari , okay I atang"...tuttttttt . Zakri menamatkan perbualannya dengan Doktor Johari. "Lan. Kau kut aku, Nisa tak sedar diri ..."ajak Zakri pada Lan. "Hah, tadi kau kata bini kau sihat"tanya Lan pada Zakri. "Alah jom ler cepat" desak Zakri.

"Zakri, kami tak dapat selamatkan Nisa, Nisa mengalami pendarahan otak yang serius, sebelum nie pernah tak Nisa jatuh atau...terhantuk kuat cause sebelah kanan kepalanya kelihatan bengkak dan ada tanda lebam. Mungkin kesan dah lama? tanya Doktor Johari dengan serius dan ingin penjelasan Zakri. Zakri hanya mendiamkan diri. Automatik otak Zakri teringat yang dia pernah menarik rambut Nisa dan menghantukkan kepala Nisa kedinding sekuatnya... dan selepas kejadian itu Zakri tidak pernah pun membawa Nisa ke Klinik untuk membuat pemeriksaan kepalanya dan semenjak kejadian itu Nisa sering sakit kepala yang teruk ...tapi Zakri tidak pernah mengendahkan kesakitan Nisa....baginya Nisa mengada-ngada ..saja buat sakit untuk minta simpati...tetapi sebaliknya.. ...Zakri hanya diam...."YA ALLAH apa aku dah buat" rasa bersalah membuat dirinya rasa menggigil... "Doktor Zainal yang merawat Nisa kerana Nisa mengadu sakit kepala sewaktu Nisa memberi susu pada kembarnya di Nursery, sakit yang amat sangat katanya so Doktor Zainal membawa Nisa ke Lab untuk membuat scanning di kepalanya dan confirm otaknya ada darah beku tapi malangnya ia sudah ditahap yang kritikal, kami tak mampu lakukan apa-apa kerana Nisa tidak mahu di operation sebelum meminta izin dari kau Zakri, Nisa telah pergi dulu dengan tenang.Permintaan terakhir Nisa, Nisa minta kau membaca diarinya. I'm really sorry Zakri. ALLAH berkuasa Zakri kita tak dapat menghalangnya" kata Doktor Johari lalu memberikan Zakri sebuah diari yang berbalut kemas dengan kain lampin baby yang masih baru.

Zakri mengambil diari itu dan membuka setiap lembaran diari Nisa, setiap lembaran tertulis rapi tulisan Nisa dan peristiwa yang berlaku pada Nisa pada setiap hari , Zakri membacanya sepintas dan nyata keluhan,kesakitan segala luahan rasa Nisa semuanya tertera di iarinya. Dan Zakri dapati setiap peristiwa itu semuanya perlakuan buruk Zakri terhadap Nisa..."YA ALLAH kenapa aku buat Nisa begini" terdetik hati Zakri selepas membaca tiap lembaran diari Nisa. Dan terpandang oleh Zakri mukasurat akhir lembaran diari yang ditanda dengan bunga ros merah yang telah kering....membuat Zakri tertarik untuk membacanya.. . Untuk suami Nisa yang tersayang, I LOVE U Bang... "SELAMAT HARI ULANG TAHUN PERKAHWINAN YANG PERTAMA"

Assalamualaikum.

Abang,

Ingat tak bunga Ros merah ni, Abang berikan pada Nisa sewaktu mula mengenali Abang. Lama Nisa simpan bunga tu Bang...Bunga inilah lambang bermulanya perkenalan Nisa dengan Abang. Nisa benar-benar menyayangi Abang. Nisa menyimpan setiap hadiah yang abang bagi pada Nisa. Abang tak pernah tahu kan ... Itulah salah satu buktinya betapa sayangnya Nisa.. Terlebih dahulu Nisa ingin sangat dengar Abang panggil Nisa AYANG seperti kita baru kahwin...Abang panggil Nisa AYANG...terasa diri dimanja bila Abang panggil Nisa cam tu...walaupun Nisa dapat merasa panggilan AYANG itu seketika sahaja. Abang dah banyak berubah. Perkataan AYANG telah hilang dan tidak kedengaran untuk Nisa lagi. Kenapa? Bencikah Abang pada Nisa? Abang...mukasurat nie khas utk Abang. Bacalah semoga Abang tahu sayangnya Nisa pada Abang. Abang ingatkan hari nie hari ulangtahun perkahwinan kita yang pertama dan Nisa hadiahkan Abang....... Danial dan Dania. Untuk Nisa tak perlulah Abang bagi kerana tak ada apa yang Nisa inginkan melainkan kasih sayang Abang pada Nisa. Nisa akan pergi mencari ketenangan dan kedamaian untuk diri Nisa. Nisa pergi untuk menemui NYA.

Nisa harap Abang akan menjaga Danial dan Dania dengan baik dan jangan sekali-kali sakiti mereka. Danial dan Dania tak tahu apa-apa. Itulah hadiah paling berharga dari diri Nisa dan mereka adalah darah daging Abang. Jangan seksa mereka. Abang boleh seksa Nisa tapi bukan mereka. Sayangilah mereka...Nisa ingin mengatakan bahawa Nisa tak ada hubungan dengan sesiapa melainkan Abang sahaja di hati Nisa. Jiwa dan raga Nisa hanya untuk Abang seorang. Terima kasih kerana Abang sudi mengahwini Nisa walaupun Nisa in cuma menumpang kasih disebuah keluarga yang menjaga Nisa dari kecil hinggalah Nisa bertemu dengan Abang dan berkahwin. Nisa harap Abang tidak akan mensia-siakan kembar kita dan Nisa tidak mahu mereka mengikut jejak kehidupan Nisa yang malangkerana menumpang kasih dari keluarga yang bukan dari darah daging nisa....tapi Nisa bersyukur kerana dapat mengecapi kasih sayang sepenuhnya dari keluarga ini. Nisa harap sangat Abang akan sentiasa memberitahu pada kembar kita yang Nisa ibunya akan sentiasa bersama disamping kembar kita, walau pun Nisa tak dapat membelai dan hanya seketika sahaja dapat mengenyangkan kembar kita dengan air susu Nisa. Berjanji pada Nisa dan ingat DANIAL dan DANIA adalah darah daging abang...Ampunkan Nisa dan halalkan segala makan minum Nisa selama setahun kita bersama. Sekiranya Abang tidak sudi menerima Danial dan Dania berilah pada emak Nisa supaya emak menjaga kembar kita dan segala perbelanjaan Nisa dah buat nama emak untuk KWSP Nisa. Biarlah emak menjaga kembar kita sekurang-kurang terubat juga rindu emak sekeluarga pada Nisa nanti bila memandang kembar kita. Comel anak kita bang..Dania mengikut raut muka Abang...sejuk kata orang dan Nisa yakin mesti Danial akan mengikut iras raut wajah Nisa...Ibunya. ..sejuk perut Nisa mengandungkan mereka. Inilah peninggalan Nisa untuk Abang. Semoga Abang masih sudi menyayangi dan mengingati walaupun Nisa sudah tiada disisi Abang dan kembar kita.

Wassalam.
Salam terakhir dari Nisa Untuk Abang dan semua.
Doakan Nisa.

Ikhlas dari

Nur Nisa

Sabarlah Zakri, ALLAH maha berkuasa. Kuatkan semangat kau, kau masih ada Danial dan Dania" pujuk Azlan. Zakri hanya tunduk membisu. YA ALLAH,Nisa maafkan Abg Nisa. Zakri longlai dan diari ditangannya terlepas, sekeping gambar dihari pernikahan antara Zakri dan Nisa jatuh dikakinya dan Zakri mengambilnya. Belakang gambar itu tertulis "HARI YANG PALING GEMBIRA DAN BAHAGIA BUAT NISA DAN SEKELUARGA. NISA DISAMPING SUAMI TERCINTA SELEPAS DIIJABKABULKAN. SEMOGA KEGEMBIRAAN DAN KEBAHAGIAAN AKAN MENYELUBUNGI DIRI NISA DAN KELUARGA NISA HINGGA KEAKHIR HAYAT NISA.

Zakri terjelepuk dilantai dan berjuta penyesalan merangkumi seluruh tubuhnya. Zakri seakan orang hilang akal. Satu demi satu setiap perlakuannya terhadap isterinya Nisa seperti terakam dalam kotak otaknya...setiap perbuatannya. ..seperti wayang jelas terpampang.. . kenapalah sampai begini jadinya...kejamnya aku...Nisa, Nisa, Nisa maafkan Abang Nisa. Sewakt jenazah Nisa tiba dirumah suasana amat memilukan. Zakri tidak terdaya untuk melihat keluarga Nisa yang begitu sedih atas pemergian Nisa. Namun emak Nisa begitu tabah dan redha. Danial dan Dania sentiasa di dalam pangkuan neneknya.Saat akhir untuk melihat Jenazah Nisa, Zakri lihat muka Nisa tenang bersih dan Zakri kucup dahi Nisa buat kali terakhir seakan-akan lirik mata Nisa mengikuti wajah Zakri. "Nisa Abang minta ampun dan maaf" bisik Zakri perlahan pada telinga Nisa sambil menangis dengan berjuta penyesalan menimpa-nimpa dirinya. Apabila Zakri meletakkan kembar disisi ibunya mereka diam dari tangisan dan tangan dari bedungan terkeluar seolah-olah mengusapi pipi ibu mereka buat kali terakhir dan terlihat oleh Zakri ada titisan airmata bergenang di tepi mata Nisa. Meleleh perlahan-lahan bila kembar itu diangkat oleh Zakri. Kembar menangis semula setelah diangkat oleh Zakri dan diberikan kepada neneknya.

Jenazah Nisa dibawa ke pusara dan ramai yang mengiringinya termasuklah kembar bersama. Walaupun kembar tidak tahu apa-apa tapi biarlah kembar mengiringi pemergian Nisa, Ibu mereka yang melahirkan mereka. Amat sedih ketika itu.. Zakri tidak mampu berkata apa-apa melainkan menangisi pemergian Nisa yang selama ini merana atas perbuatannya. Dan akhirnya Jenazah Nisa selamat dikebumikan. Satu persatu orang ramai meninggalkan kawasan pusara dan akhirnya tinggallah Zakri keseorangan di pusara Nisa yang merah tanahnya...meratapi pilu, berderai airmata dengan jutaan penyesalan ...YA ALLAH , kuatkan hambamu ini YA ALLAH. Hanya KAU sahaja yang mengetahui dosa aku pada Nisa....ampunkan aku YA ALLAH....akhirnya Zakri terlelap disisi pusara Nisa bermimpikan oleh Zakri,Nisa datang mencium tangan, mengucup dahi dan memeluk Zakri dengan lembut mulus. Zakri melihat Nisa tenang dan jelas kegembiraan terpancar dimuka Nisa Putih bersih. Nisa, Nisa, Nisa nak kemana Nisa, Nisa, Nisaaaaaa. Zakri terjaga dari lenanya. Terngiang-ngiang suara kembar menangis. "YA ALLAH ,Zakri,Zakri bangun Zakri...dan hampir senja ni, mari kita balik, kenapa kau tidur kat sini Zakri?" tegur abang long , abang ipar Zakri. Dari jauh Zakri lihat emak dan kakak ipar mengendung kembar. Mereka menangis. Zakri berlari menuju ke arah kembarnya dan mengusap-usap ubun-ubun anak kembar dan secara automatik kembarnya diam dari menangis. "Danial, Dania anak ayah, ayah akan menjagamu nak...kaulah penyambung zuriat, darah daging ayah... emak, abang dan kakak ipar Zakri tersedu hiba dan mereka berlalu lemah meninggalkan pusara Nisa....





source:

Uwais Prudential Bsn Takaful: Diari Seorang Isteri...

dulu dan sekarang.

dulu.

sekarang.

2nd hand, bcz we (my dad, my mom and i) went to perodua pontian to buy a brand new myvi but the dealer said i have to wait for about 2 months till i get the car. but i dont have 2 months. my sister had been wailing (yes literally wailing) for a car bcz she didnt have any transport to go to campus. she used to drive my dad's old renault, but since the car, well, was broken beyond repair, so she insisted on a new car. and as the oldest sister, i have to give in and give her my kenari and find a car to my name. and i insisted on a myvi, and my father literally went to all the 2nd hand car shops all over pontian to find me one. manual myvis were everywhere, but it was hard to find an auto myvi. and then my dad found JKR1009 and it was a good, brand new like car (2007 with 30k mileage if i was not mistaken), so, that's it, the myvi is mine. my name. heh.


congratulations to me. my first very own property.

enough said.

my friend once told me that dr fadzilah kamsah once said that the engagement is not something to be fussed about.

so i swore to myself that i will not upload my engagement pics until the wedding date is fixed.

now the wedding date has been fixed, there you are.

me, my mom, dad and his family.

him. waiting outside. patiently.








and my favourite pic of the day. suhaina. ain and adik.

semoga jodoh kami kekal sehingga ke akhirnya.
amin.

some thoughts.

" Selamat pagi baby, muwwah salam sayang yang tak terhingga hehe"

4 May 2010 07:57
From: Khairul

and i was smiling the whole day.


thanks sayang, u made my day. u always do.

stress.

yeah, it has been a while, i know.

ive been busy teachering (oh is that even a word?). being a good teacher is not one easy thing.

same as being a good worker.

i swear, im not working my ass off to be the employee of the month or something. im not trying to kiss someone's ass, becoming the apple of his or her eyes. im not. i complete my work because that's my responsibility. i did my best because that's what i am, i have to do my best in everything i do, i just have to. im not trying to outshine others, im not trying to make myself outstanding compared to my other friends.

and yet, someone told me not to work very hard. someone told me not to give my best in every assignment that was given to me. someone told me that if i cant do the job, i just have to admit, and ask for help. someone told me that i dont have to do every work that has been assigned to me. someone told me to learn how to say NO.

because i am this close to become the apple of her eyes. and that someone told me that, all the apples of her eyes have to do more work that others. so if i keep trying to impress her or something, the music that i have to face is that i have to do more than others, because the only thing that matters to her is to get her job done. and that's the culture here. the more she loved someone, the more work that someone will get.

God i swear, i never did anything to impress anyone.

and now im so confused. should i just continue minding my own business and keep doing what i do now, and unintentionally keep impressing her? or should i do as that someone told me to? i dont want to risk my job, i dont want to risk my confirmation process.

im just doing my job for God sake!

.......

"what if we get married at the end of this year and i cannot get transferred until after my position is confirmed? i cannot think of the possibility of being away from you especially when we are officially allowed to live together..."

"baby, we survived four years of relationship away from each other..why cant we survive this..?i know its hard for both of us..but i have a strong faith that we can survive this.."

"but still..away from u..."

"i know its hard baby..i know..its hard for me too..but we can try right.."

"yeah..but what's the point of getting married so soon if we still have to be away from each other..?"

"at least everything will be appropriate, halal and legal...right.."

"still..three years is like forever..."

"you can come here during school holidays..or every other weekend..n i can come and meet you there also.."

"and stay with you for like 3 days and have to leave again? i dont think i can.."

"i know u can..try filling in the transfer form every time it is available..i'll find ways to get you transferred here as soon as possible..if we have to appeal, we appeal..ok.."

"yeah..i guess i dont have much choice.."

"baby, it is only 300km..my superior has been away from his wife for like three years now, and his wife is somewhere in sabah.. imagine that.. at least we still can meet every weekend if you like.."

"yeah...right...but still..."

"ok now, do u want to get married or not? because if this is causing u pain and doubt, we can delay..but i rather not.."

"no, i want to...i guess i have to work on that 'away' part as hard as i can.."

"i know u can baby..i know we will survive this.."

killing time.

i am updating from postgraduate research room (control and instrumentation research group) UTM.

why am i here?

khairul was back 2 days ago bcz he had a meeting with the fabrication factory (or something like that, im not sure) and his supervisor regarding his prototype. so while waiting for him to settle his research works, i took out his laptop (curik keluar dpd backpack die hahaha) and his modem and sit here at his workspace (or ex-workspace, i must say, though this cubicle still got his name and stuff lying around) and tada! hahaha. just to kill time. so boring la waiting without doing nothing. its not like i understand what they were talking about, since they were talking in a different language. mechanical engineering language ke ape ntah. malas nak bother.

oh i moved out from the crappy crappy house rented by crappy crappy owner. n the house i moved into is such a big house with a big rent. rm600. can u believe it? mahal gile woh. but the house is humongous, with kitchen cabinet with the stove attached, 3 bedroom with 3 bathroom, a dining hall, and practically 3 huge halls. and two parking lots. memang sgt worth the rent. oh nanti i'll snap some pictures and upload them here. and we each got one bedroom and one bathroom, so no toilet sharing. haha.

ok lah since he has finished with his work, i think i'll stop here. see u soon!!

he.she.them.

assalamualaikum.

makin lama makin panjang pulak jarak between entries. haha. pemalas punye orang.

alhamdulillah, life has been treating me fairly well. everything seems in order. not a perfect order, but everything went quite smoothly, so far. rase mcm dh bleh adapt dgn working life. skit-skit la kot. huhu.

tapi recently memang byk sgt progress in my life, his life and our life together.

my life, well as u know, im already a teacher. i have a job with a good salary. ok life memang pretty hectic, with all the responsibilities and stuff, but i still have a life. bleh lagi balik rumah every other weekend, bleh lagi tgk wayang and meronda shopping complex and all, boleh lagi dating. and speaking of dating, i am officially in a long distance relationship. again.

because now he is working as a PTD dekat JPM. jabatan perdana menteri putrajaya. baru beberapa hari kot. lapor diri last thursday. so he was assigned dekat JPM, tapi masih belum tau lagi agensi ke suruhanjaya mana ke. masih lagi ade good possibbilities yang die akan dipostingkan anywhere in malaysia (including the other side of malaysia, mind u), but for the time being he has to undergo and go through all those kursus and taklimay n stuff. maybe on thursday or friday barula die akan tau dia ditempatkan di mana.

i was pretty upset because it was barely 2 months yg kita dapat together dalam satu jarak yg boleh diconsider sbg dekat (pasir gudang - skudai is about half an hour journey by car, kalo tak jam), but still, masih dekat kalo nak compare dengan our relationship for the past four years (OMG that was a long time right) yg everytime kita nak jumpe, have to travel 4 hours by bus. sekarang? i kat pasir gudang and he is in putrajaya (for the time being). jauh lagi. nasib baik memang la kita dh biasa jauh. huhu.

and when he is working and i am working and we both have pretty much a good salary (almost rm5k combined together), so we have decided to take our relationship to the next level. mana tahu akan tukar status somewhere at the end of THIS year? haha. jeng jeng jeng. doakanlah jodoh kami. penat dh jauh2 ni. haih.

so thats it. i'll see u when i see u.

assalamualaikum.

membebel.

it has been a while. again.

ntahlah. ade je mase free untuk update, tp dlm kepala ada banyak sangat benda nak kene fikir. sampai rase mcm nak demam pon ade. haih. dear en. demam, plez dont come now. i need a healthy mind and body or i cannot get rid of my piles of work. n plez dont come again any other day. tsk.

kerja memang banyak. super banyak. its a good thing la sebenarnya kan sbb i kene ajar english, something that i dont have to work hard studying at night for. ok memang still kene study lagi, tp tak la mcm fizik yang i kene fahamkan betul2 every night to come out with an easy explanation that can be understood by the students. bukan senang nak fahamkan students.sometimes bende simple mcm subject-verb agreement pon i kene explain smpi 3 kali barula diorng dpt the idea. itu pon dgn mcm2 contoh ayat dah, keluar dah sume bahasa melayu dlm kelas english. haha.

students memang nakal. diorng tak jahat, tapi memang super nakal. bile marah, diorang senyap la, tp sekejap jek dh potpetpotpet balik. especially budak lelaki. melayu some more. suke btol loyar buruk. tp kalo students cina,memang la kene guna approach lain. untuk some, boleh la nak gertak2 hempas buku ke ape, but for others, menag kene pegi depan die, cakap baik2, reasoning sume. baru 3 minggu, i dah banyak belajar pasal students punye karenah ni, n the best way to deal with each and everyone of them.

dalam kelas memang geram. sakit hati btol dgn budak2 yang tak faham bahasa melayu. kalo cina tu i faham la, bahasa melayu bukan diorang punye mother tongue. yang melayu pon sama, nak kene cakap 40 kali (hiperbola ok) pon blom tentu dengar cakap lagi. tapi blom lagi jadi kes i baling budak dgn pemadam whiteboard mcm mase kat sdasa dulu la kan. huhu.

hari ni jek i dah denda budak kelas 2A. budak kelas 2A ni previously i yg jadi diorang punye form teacher, tp bile streaming, i dah tukar jadi form teacher kelas lain. tapi dgn budak2 2A ni i mcm dah kenal sgt la perangai seketul2. tp tadi, i punye mase pkul 10.30, mase baru pas recess. biasa la budak2 masuk lmbt kan, so i pon takde la rush sgt, sekali i sampai kelas 10.35, ade la 2, 3 ketul dlm kelas. i gave them 30 seconds to get in the class or i will dimerit them 5 points. masih lagi tamo masuk. dah 10.45 pon blom sume masuk lagi. geram gile weh. rase mcm nak baling je dgn pemadam whiteboard kat muke seketul2. i soh sume orang salin essay kat buku teks 3 times. kalo sorang je pon tak anta even, satu kelas i dimerit lagi 5 point. so jgn terkejut la kalo u nampak ur point dh kurang -5 in one day, i cakap dgn diorng. sume hantar buku weh! haha. i tak sempat nak check lagi, tp for the late-comers tu i dah siapkan list salah laku tu, blom bagi kat form teacher jek.

mcm chinese kat 2A tu, kang jin hui, wai loong, phon wai jin, yee kai, sume okay jek kalo bawak borak. buat keje pon okay jek sbenarnya, tapi ikot mood diorang la. kalo diorng rase nak buat, memang la siap. tapi phon wai jin dgn wai loong, keje memang siap. marahla mcm mane pon, keje diorang mesti hantar punye. memang bagus. kang jin hui dgn yee kai ikot mood, tp ooi kah wai memang susah lah. nak kene cakap baik2 baru la nak buat. blom tentu hantar lagi pon.

untuk kelas yg i baru dpt ni, blom lagi kenal sepenuhnye, tp kak mas, previous form teacher kate, dlm kelas ni ade otai skolah. huhu. i terkesima (ceewah cikgu bm sila bagi kredit kat i sbb i guna perkataan baru ni) sbb kalo form 2 dah jadi otai, form 5 nak jadi ape? hadoi. tp setakat ni tak buat hal lagi la. elok je walaupun tak cukup tanah nak kejar budak2 kelas ni, sbb dpd 39 orang, cuma 8 orang perempuan. imagine 33 boys dgn 33 jugak perangai. mcm2.

dlm kelas memang la i jadi singa betina. muke memang bengis jek smpi kene tegur dgn students. haha. sume orang kat bilik guru teringin nak tengok mcm mane i dlm kelas, sbb for those yang biasa around me akan tau la betapa tak garangnye i ni kan. tp dgn student memang trus jadi org lain. penat sebenarnya nak marah. pening kepala. sakit tekak.

tp mcm mane nakalnye pon budak2 ni dlm kelas, mcm mane hebatnye perasaan untuk mencekik seketul2 tu membara dalam jiwa i ni, bila i dok sorang2 mcm ni dn terfikir balik perangai those midgets (okay bukan midgets, most of them are bigger than me, but u get the idea) i rase mcm diorang la jadi semangat i nak teruskan pegi keje tiap2 pagi. sbb i tau diorang sume budak baik. boleh jek nak dgr cakap. cume memang super nakal. nak perhatian.

kat skolah ni, memang la workload sgt overload. haha. beban kerja memang melimpah ruah lah. tapi kene redha la. khairul kate tak bleh pressure sgt, buat jek ape keje yang disuruh, jgn fikir tak suke ke tak boleh buat ke. kalo tak boleh buat, tanye sampai boleh buat. belajar kawal emosi. belajar sabar. jangan fikir tension jek. anggap je la sume bende tu masuk dlm job description. huhu. my super-boyfriend-husband-bestfriend-n-everything ni la yang tolong dengar my ranting every night. dan tak pernah sekali pon dia mengeluh. tak pernah sekali pon nak jatuhkan semangat i. every night pon die akan kate, jgn tensen2 sangat....rileks jek.. jangan terlampau fikirkan kerja tu..buat je, tak payah fikir..huhu.. memang anis super sayang kat abang lah.

and tomorrow is a new day. same crowd, same job, same place, but still, a new day.

=)

laporan minggu pertama.

haha blog dah bersawang ada stalaktit stalagmit sume. bizi weh.

alhamdulillah, dah seminggu bergelar guru sandaran siswazah terlatih (GSST). alhamdulillah dpt posting kat johor. alhamdulillah bukan kawasan kampung, tesco seri alam cume 5 minit dpd umah. nama sekolah? smk seri alam 2. alhamdulillah coworkers sume sgt membantu. alhamdulillah pengetua, pk pentadbiran, pk koku, pk hem pon sgt baik. dan alhamdulillah kakak2 kerani sekolah sgt rajin dan efisyen smpi rasa macam nak bagi hadiah cookies famous amos bungkus dalam tin wrap dgn ribbon bukan mcm kerani2 sekolah lain yg dah season dn asyik bagi alasan mesih fotostat pon nak rehat. alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal.

smk seri alam 2 ni letaknye dekat pasir gudang. ok bukan la btol2 kat pasir gudang. dekat masai sebenarnye. tp kire pasir gudang la jugak. dan dok bwh ppd pasir gudang. sekolah baru, bukak tahun 2002. kire canggih la sbb ade website dan blogspot sendiri. pengurusan sekolah memang tiptop. cuma yang menetukan keberkesanan ataupun kejayaan satu2 sekolah tu bukan lah semata2 pengurusan jek kan. student pon kene tiptop. tp alhamdulillah kot, setakat seminggu mengajar ni, rasanya sekolah ni takde masalah disiplin seteruk sekolah i practical dulu. tp tatau la budak2 ni baru seminggu blom lagi nak tunjuk belang tanduk ekor tulang sume kan. harap2 nye ok lah.

subjek yang telah di-assign for me? english. kata puan hajah (pk pentadbiran), ppd yang suruh i ajar english. ok, i know my spm memang la dpt A1, 1119 memang la B3, MUET memang la band 5, i can write ok, i know basic grammar, tp untuk bercakap, my confidence level memang la out. sbb takde environment nk ckp kot, so my coherency tu ade masalah skit. setakat ckp dgn udin ngn mamat boleh la. huhu. maka i kena la work extra hard to improve my speaking skill dan juga kene ajar lagi. adoi, beratnya tanggungjawab.

i kene ajar lower form. form 1 n form 2. dan kene ajar amalan bahasa melayu kelas peralihan. according tu one of the senior teachers kat situ, amalan bahasa melayu ni lebih kepada mengajar student2 mengeja, dn bercakap bahasa melayu, sbb kelas peralihan kan memang tak berapa faham bahasa melayu. selain tu, tanggungjawab yang i dah dapat:

Guru Tingkatan
berat rupanya keje jadi form teacher ni. kene cari maklumat lengkap student. kene cari TOV ETR ke ape ntah. baru la i tau rupenye buku register yang dulu selalu cikgu2 kite buat tanda kehadiran tu sebenarnye tak buleh gune liquid paper. i kene jadi form teacher untuk form 2 cekal. kelas average la dr segi ranking. harap2 la dpt buat dengan betul. huhu.

Penolong Setiausaha Kurikulum
i dah jumpe s/u kurikulum tu, pn juhaida. just kene tulis minit mesyuarat jek. meeting pon cume 4 kali setahun. tp kalo ade tugas tambahan memg kene redha je la kan. haha.

Guru Penasihat Pengawas
last and the only time i was a prefect was masa i standard 6. that was about 12 years ago kot! haha. blom tau lagi keje ape kene buat.

secara keseluruhannya (ceewah mcm nak buat chapter 5 thesis la pulak) sekolah ni sgt okay kot. for the time being la. tp for me, yg penting adalah support system. even students tu kadang2 buat kite rase marah, geram, sedih ke ape kan, tp bile kite balik staffroom dn kite tau yg kawan2 kat staffroom sume saling support each other, rasenye stress tu akan kurang byk sgt. dn support system kat sekolah ni memg best. terbaik. world class (bak kate pengetua die). i belum rase tension lagi. mungkin sbb i dh set mind yg keje ni is my financial source kot. so nak tak nak i kene buat jugak. so alang2 dh kene buat, biarla i buat dgn happy kan. kene enjoy keje. yang paling penting, ikhlas. ikhlas. dan ikhlas. insya Allah yang lain tu akan datang sendiri.


all the best to myself.

my night out.

salam.

yesterday was such a great day. and a damn tiring one, too. been up since God knows how early, cooked lunch for khairul and neya (4 dishes+kitchen cleaning in less than one hour, even i impressed with myself), and off to klcc. watching new moon (im a huge, humongous fan of the twilight saga but i think this movie is pretty slow, book's version is much2 better, as always, and yeah, pretty frustrating for a book reader like me). thank goodness we have bought the tickets online, bcz when we arrived there, the queuing line was as long as the place can hold. haha.

bcz i easily get tired, i was tired already and my legs were aching even before we entered the first exhibition room. but we walked and walked and walked until we reached the exhibition room for computer accesories n stuff. so he, nope, we, went looking for his external hard disk. ok did i tell u i was tired already? and the room was freaking congested with people from all sizes and smells. haha. very bingit too, with people shouting the goodness of their products and bargaining for cheaper prices or better offers. and my head started to spin. and after like forever (for me of course, we actually only went to like one fifth of the shops there haha thanks to my tiredness), he bought his hard disk for i forgot what the price was. and then we went through all the shops (we have to or we will never get to the exit door) and he found some very same hard disks with the same capacity and brand as his but with much cheaper prices (by rm7 i think), and he was quite frustrated and starting to regret his decision (to be fair to him, it was actually MY decision with some pretty good and logic reasons, actually i would have said anything just to not having to walk through all those stores for many many times hahaha) of buying before surveying the whole exhibition hall. n i think he started blaming me too, for being sooo tired i couldnt even bother to look for my keyboard protecter, bcz if it was up to him, he would have surveyed the whole building before buying. but i refused to accept my guilt (haha) and switched into defensive mode and told him if he wanted to go through the whole klcc then he should go with some of his gadget-freak friend instead of going with his lazy-to-walk, easily gets tired and boring girlfriend. but he said he never said that it was my fault that he bought the hard disk from that particular store, which was actually and hurtfully (haha) true bcz he never literally said that it was my fault (hahaha terasa sendiri kan nampak sgt bersalah tp tak nak mengaku).

then we went to jom heboh at bukit jalil. it was after ten when we finally reached there, and most of the booth had already been closed. i bought one bag of munchy's product, one bag of ribena's, and he bought 4 cans of nescafe for rm5. haha.

ok. this is the best part. both of us wanted to try the so-called famous nasi lemak at kampung baru. and after two hours of searching the place (ok im not going to tell u the whole process of searching the place bcz reminding myself alone will make me feel like i am the world idiotest idiot) we finally found nasi lemak antarabangsa. very frustrating, bcz the nasi lemak is not that good, and the price, oh God, so expensive for a not-so-delicious nasi lemak. sooo not going back. haha.

off to uptown danau kota at 1.

my legs were aching like mad. seriously. and i was soooo sleepy i couldnt even speak coherently (haha). but bcz i was with my loving, funny, charming, ever dearest boyfriend (sayang i know u read this sila tambah lagi sepasang baju kurung dalam perjanjian kita hahaha), so i was trying like mad to stay awake. haha. and we walked and walked and walked and the only thing i bought ( yes I paid with rm5 i took from HIS wallet haha) was a scarf. haha. and i dont know how, but i ended up watching a football match (it was manchester city vs chelsea and man city won the match, i think) with a can of coke, and a pair of barely open eyes. hahahaha. and we continued watching (it was Juventus vs InterMilan this time), nope, HE continued watching, I played sudoku on his fon, until it was morning enough to get back to serdang. he sent me home, i reached home some where around six am, freshen up, he went to masjid upm to solat subuh n self-cleaning process (haha ape itu self-cleaning process, is that phrase even existed? i wonder. haha). he fetched me for breakfast. off to putrajaya.

when we were pretty sure that it was late enough for alamanda to be finally opened for business (haha), we went there. i dont even know or notice what we were doing, but it was finally noon n i was hungry. we went for lunch at the food court, and we sat there till 3pm. after performing our solat, we went to puduraya to sent him home.

reached puduraya at 5.10pm. got a 5.30pm ticket. but the bus only arrived at 6pm at a DIFFERENT platform. but it was very, very hard to let him leave me, so i stayed with him until the bus arrived. then after he boarded his bus, i drove back to serdang. puduraya-serdang was a roughly 20min journey, but i took more than one hour to reach home, so u can guess how bad the traffic was. plus it was raining heavily.

finally reached home. nobody's home, as expected. self-cleaning, and finally sat here, updating. haha.

this stayed-up-all-night thing was never in plan actually, but since none of my housemates were home that saturday night (neya stayed up outside too, eating ikan bakar somewhere in kelang with her mates) and along went home for her friend's wedding, so i thought, why not we spend the night outside too, instead of leaving me sleeping alone at home. this is my first time doing this, so i was pretty surprised that i managed to stay awake all night. maybe bcz he was with me the whole time. so that's it. actually i am so sleepy, but im waiting for khairul to reach JB, and he already did about 5 minutes ago (alhamdullillah). so now i'll tuck myself in, and good night everyone.

ps to khairul: see what i did for u? i stayed up. i was awake all the time. not sleeping for even one second when u were driving. it took all my strength, but somehow, i managed. see? so please, another baju kurung in our agreement. now u owe me six baju kurung. or is it seven? nevermind, bcz i love u, i'll round it up to ten. hahaha. thanks for the night. and days. it was suuuuuperb! love u sayang!! XOXO

pps: sorry for all the typos and grammatical errors and everything. i am soo tired i dont even want to read and correct everything again. *wink

suatu outing itu.

salam.

mula2 takde la plan betul2 nak gather ke ape, just cakap2 dgn afiq aka apek yang i rindu dgn kawan2 rka dulu. then afiq kate, kalo nak gather, roger jek, die bleh tolong rogerkan kawan2 lain. than on friday, hari raya haji tu i pg rumah nana, die bertunang (congratulations dear~). mula2 tatau pon nana tunang, tp amal roger kata soh pg, so i pon siap n pg. so bila dah jumpa amal, i pon kata mesti best kalo bleh gather ramai2, afiq kata kalo nak gather roger je die. so amal ngn nana pon kate set. maka i pon telah meroger afiq untuk mengajak gather. maka semalam, bergather la kami. mula2 lepak dekat alif, restoran mamak kat tambak, pastu ramai2 pg tg piai. pastu solat dekat masjid serkat, n pg dinner sama2 kat permas. sangat havoc dn sgt rock la budak2 ni skrg, maybe sbb semua dah besar, tp still suka menyakat n loyar buruk sama je cam dulu. i memang tak pernah gather dgn this crowd of guys. selalu hang dgn budak2 baik mcm adzizie, ali, hadi, n all, tp kali ni, lepak dgn the darker side (ahahahaha) masa kat skolah dulu. so mereka2 yang datang:

girls. kami kaum perempuan memang tak ramai dlm kelas dulu. 2 kelas rka dan cuma ada 13 orang perempuan out of 60. yang lain sume lelaki.

1. amal: my very best friend. kawan gosip sehidup semati.
2. ummu: skrg dh jadi lecturer kat utm. baru lepas interview nak pg oversea untuk further her phd.
3. bedah: baru balik dpd kenduri kawen, terus pg mamak. sgt kecoh sama je mcm dulu. sumber gosip utama (sebab die yang paling ramai contact kat kawasan kukup sana).
4. nana: join cuma mase dinner, sbb kitorg lmbt bgtau die, die dah janji dulu dgn tunang die nak kuar cari brg hantaran.
5. noor: jumpe kat tg piai. sbb die keje sane skrg. sbb die la kami dpt separuh harga untuk entrance fee. haha. dan die jugak la yang bertanggungjawab membelanja semua orang punye dinner.

guys. ade la dlm 4 ke 5 kereta kot mase gi tg piai tu.
1. afiq @ apek: dulu kat skola i jarang gile cakap dgn die ni. tp skrg die la yg selalu contact dkt ym n facebook. bertanggungjawab mengumpulkan segerombolan budak2 lelaki yg join gathering ni.
2. harif: rasenye la spell name die mcm tu kalo i tak silap. haha. kenal muka die. tp nama tak ingat. same je mcm dulu. diam jek.
3. ayul: anak cikgu safiah. paling kecoh n paling byk tanya.
4. arif @ tonjang: die ni muka paling tak berubah. masih tinggi. masih sama rupa. cara cakap pon masih sama.
5. shahir.
6. hazeli.
7. anuar @ jueh.
8. azahari @ zack.
9. najib.
10. malan.
11. shahizwan @ sabun.
12. khaizum. die ni bukan clasmet. tp kawan kepada clasmet. ntah sape yg bwk die. tp he's a great sport la, tak kesah pon.
13. napi: he's also my boyfren's fren. agak rapat jugak kot. jadi asyik la bertanya mane la en boyfren. ish.
14. a-rey.

sungguh2 sgt best. dn malan ajak pg umah die 13 disember nt, wedding abang die. maybe bleh jadi next gathering?

looking forward to our next gath!

ps: gmbr takde. my camera rosak. i rase handicap gile bile takde kamera ni. ayo.

pps: puas hati?